The husband and I packed a suitcase and left for Wheeling, West Virginia Friday afternoon. WooHoo. I bought the kids a gallon of milk and said, "See ya Sunday and keep my dog alive."
We arrived at the casino Friday evening and were welcomed by that wonderful clanging, slot machine noise, I love that sound. Immediately I started to scope out the positioning of the bar to the nickle slots.
"Where are you going?"
"To find the vodka."
"Let's get our cards first dear."
A casino will issue you a Players Club Card that keeps track of your gambling, awards you points and sends you junk mail. We got in line.
"Ma am, would you like a bungee cord to clip to your card?"
"I can not begin to tell you how much I would like a bungee cord clipped to my card. Do I have a choice of colors?"
Now when I place my card in special "slot" in the slot machine, I will remain tethered to it. It will taunt me into sticking another $20 in it instead of leaving. I can also wander around the casino with a white bungee cord clipped to my shirt advertising the fact that I'm too retarded to remember my card in the slot machine.
We arrived at the casino Friday evening and were welcomed by that wonderful clanging, slot machine noise, I love that sound. Immediately I started to scope out the positioning of the bar to the nickle slots.
"Where are you going?"
"To find the vodka."
"Let's get our cards first dear."
A casino will issue you a Players Club Card that keeps track of your gambling, awards you points and sends you junk mail. We got in line.
"Ma am, would you like a bungee cord to clip to your card?"
"I can not begin to tell you how much I would like a bungee cord clipped to my card. Do I have a choice of colors?"
Now when I place my card in special "slot" in the slot machine, I will remain tethered to it. It will taunt me into sticking another $20 in it instead of leaving. I can also wander around the casino with a white bungee cord clipped to my shirt advertising the fact that I'm too retarded to remember my card in the slot machine.
Gambling the inheritance? That's what my mom tells me each time she goes to Louisiana.
ReplyDeleteGamble away! Hey, we visited that casino on our way to New Jersey a few years ago.
ReplyDeleteReformingGeek - My mom and dad do that too. It must be where I got it.
ReplyDeleteKaren - It's a nice casino, not Vegas but nice.
Ha! I'm the walking business requirement for the retarded bungee cord. If it weren't for that thing, I would forget my card everywhere and cease to get free food. I don't gamble away enough money to get free hotel rooms like my mother does.
ReplyDeleteCandice - The retarded bungee cord is exactly what it should be called.
ReplyDeleteyes, by all means, keep the dog alive... sheesh
ReplyDeleteNooter - It's a shame I have to tell them that - teenagers!
ReplyDelete