Saturday, July 30, 2016

Hey it's raining and I'm not complaining

Northeast Ohio is in need of a good rain. Today the heavens opened up and poured down on us. But it waited for me to bring in my groceries with the help of Boy #1.
The thunder came first, off in the distance. Growing closer with each grocery bag we grabbed. The high winds were next but we only felt a couple drops by the time we unloaded the car with this weeks provisions. We felt a sense of accomplishment, Boy #1 and I did. He told me,
"I'm taking a nap, this is good sleeping weather."
And I said,
"Just listen for the crackle of broken tree limbs."
And I pointed outside his window,
"Because your dad and I are a little concerned that the dead limb on top of that tree is going to come down. Sweet dreams."
I went to the kitchen to put away my stuff and things. I had to stop one time because my flower stand on the front porch blew over. Wow, thinking to myself, it's really windy and the rain is going sideways, we needed this.
With the grocery's put away it was time for me to sit and relax with my mocha. The one I stopped for on my way home. The one whose taste still languished on my taste buds. The one I got for free because I had 6 stamps on my card. The one that was still in the car.
I said some bad words and looked at my car with my hands in my hips. Mocha has a firm grasp on my life, there was no question about it, I was going out there. I have a large umbrella I use to use for the boys ball games, I was sure it would be sufficient for a quick run down the steps and opening my car door for that delicious brew.
I made a quick mental plan, I have to do that or I will trip on my own feet, and I opened the door. The insufficient umbrella almost flew out of my hands. Had I been the weight that I was before my hormonal imbalance I might have flown away, so yay menopause. Reaching the car I fumbled with the umbrella, which was sideways, and the car door. I decided it was better to be soaking wet than spill my mocha. I was swearing like a drunken sailor by the time I skipped up the steps because another flower pot was blown over. My hands were kind of full and that flower pot waited there for me to save it. I said the eff word. Don't tell my mom.
Once in the house, soaking wet, mocha in hand, umbrella secure, I took a sip of my uncontrollable addiction. It was worth it.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Along Came a Spider

Dangling from my shower ceiling a Daddy Long Legs decided to scare the living crap out of me just as I started washing my hair. Panic set in immediately. My first thought,
"This is going to be a great blog post if I get out of this alive."
I cupped my hands trying to collect enough water to throw at it. Which was somewhat effective as it was hit by a few drops and scurried back up to the ceiling. But still in the shower with me and my time was running out as the shampoo suds started to impair my vision. With one hand I wiped my eyes and the other trying to direct water towards the perv spider, I managed to get it to crawl past the shower curtain perimeter.
I finished washing my hair while watching the creature slowly make its way along the corner where the ceiling and wall meet. Never closing my eyes, they are blood shot at the moment and they sting. I might go blind but I never took my eyes off him.
Then he stopped and hung right above my towel.
"Oh, it's on now you bastard. Land on my towel and I will get right out of this shower and spray you with hairspray."
He must have understood me because he scurried back up and continued along the wall. Without the aid of my contacts or glasses he started to blur or I was really going blind. Whatever it was, I couldn't see him anymore, which was a little unsettling.
The rest of my shower was quick and I never closed my eyes, this could explain why they are swollen and red. I shook out my towel anyway because you can never be too careful. If fact I shook everything that could be shook in that bathroom except for the decorative towels on the towel rack that falls down if you touch it. No spider, can't find him. I was going to spray him with hairspray anyway. Yes I lied to him. So now instead, I have to burn the house down after I'm done writing this.