Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
You can't just say a rocket ship drove by my house and not have proof to back it up. So guess what? A rocket ship drove by my house today.
This is further proof that my neighborhood has run amok. That rocket ship is filled with unsuspecting, poor saps that think they are on a summertime joy ride. We will probably never see them again. I'm sure they will be beamed up to the Mother Ship if they haven't already.
There is something suspicious going on at the pool too. Friday, after work, I ran, literally ran to the pool for some time in the sun because I believed the internet weather channel. I believed them when they said it would be partly cloudy all weekend. Today, Saturday was beautiful. But back to Friday, I got to the pool and no one was in my "spot". Being a creature of habit or slightly OCDish I freak out if I have to set up my stuff in a different spot, so life was good to me that Friday afternoon or so I thought.
I stay up too late on the week nights, because of writing, so by Friday I'm tired. I fell asleep in my spot and was wakened by a itchy painful bite of a flying alien bug. I swatted it off my leg and went for a swim. Came back to commence the tanning process, the other side. This is when I started to wonder why I could see my cheek. My left cheek under my left eye was starting to protrude. I moved my face muscles and it hurt, the area around my left eye did. I gathered my stuff and went home while I could still see. On the bike ride home my left leg started to hurt and I could see several welts. Damn it they got me.
Upon further inspection when I got home I discovered the left side of my face was swollen and it hurt to walk. In the morning the swelling had gone down but everything hurt. The sun was also shining brightly. Somebody had to go to that pool and show that bug who was boss so I was there when it opened. And now I have a swollen ankle. The aliens have successfully injected me with their GPS nanobots and I'm afraid will abduct me at any time. It was nice knowing all of you, maybe they'll let me keep posting up there on the Mother Ship.
If it wasn't for being hopped up on Benedryl all weekend I don't know how I'd make it.
Monday, June 06, 2011
"I heard you." I heard him, Boy #3. I was just stalling.
"Didn't I stop being responsible for you when you turned 18? What are you now 19 ish?"
"Well back when you were responsible for me, did you keep some kind of records on my health and well-being?" he says as he takes off his blood soaked sock.
"Whoa, wait." Both of my hands did the big time out there kid, "Whoa, where are you putting that sock? Put it in the garbage."
"Garbage! You better clean that out good and you're going to need a tetanus shot."
"But when is the last time...............?"
"If you can't remember, then it's time for one." I have no idea where his immunization records are, not a clue.
"You can't remember?"
"Honey, I can't remember your name most of the time. Why do you think I gave you a number?"
I sent him off for a tetanus shot and while he was gone decided to look for records saying that he exists. While I didn't find his immunization records I did find mine, huh. It appears I'm in need of a tetanus shot.