Thursday, April 08, 2010

Securing my place in Hell

Sometimes you just want to eat your lunch without a deaf-mute stopping by your table grinning and shaking his head yes, trying to sell you a pen for a buck. Besides, he hit me up last week at Dairy Queen, I bought one that time. I had my lunch arranged on my table for one, and that's another post coming soon, the "everything has to be in the right spot before I can eat or I'll freak out post" and the deaf-mute appeared with his pens.
Gah! I'm having a really aggravating week, just give me 45 minutes to eat in peace. So I gave him a look and shook my head no, earning a special place in Hell for people who send deaf-mutes off penniless.
For sometime now I expected to be one of the people raptured, avoiding all the end of times Armageddon stuff. I don't have the stamina to deal with the anti-christ. I'm more of a loner and I'm pretty sure groups are going to have to be formed to deal with all the chaos that will ensue because of all the wrath a God commotion. Damn things were looking up for me until the deaf-mute starting making the rounds in the areas fast food joints. Ah jeez, he's probably been sent to weed us out. Save yourselves and buy a pen for a buck.

6 comments:

ReformingGeek said...

YIKES!

I think we'll probably burn together.

Sue said...

It's nice to know I'll have company.

Leeuna said...

We all have our limits, even those who try their best to be good. I think God will understand and forgive. Nobody likes having their meal disturbed, even if they happen to need a pen...which one doesn't...unless they're planning to use them for chop sticks.

Me-Me King said...

When I find myself in a similar situation I am reminded of the man in my hometown who was deaf and would sell little metal crosses for 25 cents. Long after I had moved from this community, my mother sent me a newspaper story about this man's death. Apparently, selling those crosses was quite profitable for him, he died leaving an estate of well over a million dollars which he had left a majority of it to the school for the blind.

I kid you not!

what you think dad said...

well, the last time I had a mute sell me a pen I did it while I was dealing with a customer - Don't worry, I'm going to hell becuase I did it to get him out of my store, but if that isn't bad enough, i've turned away several children trying to sell me candy...

no it's not a competition to see who gets the worst spot in hell...lol

Candice said...

See ya in hell. ;)