Tuesday, July 28, 2015

ASAP OMG

"Are you making fun of Russian people?"
"Absolute.......ly not. I love Russians and vodka. The Russians invented Vodka didn't they? If they did, the Lord should watch over them in a special kind of way."

I have made progress on my dog walking/Russian watching mornings. Somethings going down. Check this post if you haven't been keeping up.
I saw the round woman one morning and she was dressed up again heading for the ishkabibble bus stop. As she drew near I engaged her in conversation,
"Good morning."
And in her thick Russian accent she replied,
"Good morning."
Stepping closer I asked,
"Have you been to the pool lately?"
"Pool?"
This is when I realized that she was a different round woman. The original round woman has a stunt double. A doppelganger. Or she has been replaced for phase 2 of the world domination mission. Dear God.
I don't know if she realized I might be on to her but she adapted quickly to her new role,
"The pool, yes the pool."
By this time we were passing each other. I didn't look back but braced myself for certain annihilation, as I may have blown her cover. I lived to see another day though to continue my watch.
The next week, faux round woman was on her way to the ishkabibble bus stop again but this time she was on the phone. No eye contact was made. I heard part of her conversation,
"Yes. No. No as soon as possible."
Mommy!

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