"I think they sell a special glue just for rear-view mirrors, pretty sure, yeah they do, let me call your father."
Yeah they do.
Since we were heading to the WalMarts anyway, we stuck that on our list. Along with "stuff to eat and drink after 4 wisdom teeth are surgically removed" and Pepsi. We went straight to the automotive section for the glue first, but along the way I grabbed three 2 liter bottles of Pepsi. "Why didn't we get a cart, we just walked right past them?"
"Here's the glue aisle." Most of the time he just ignores me or he thinks I'm talking to myself, because I do that.
We glanced over the array of glues. "I'm going to go ask that car guy over there if he knows about special rear-view mirror glue, you continue to look." Really, I'm not going to spend anymore time in the automotive section than I have to.
"Can I help you ma'am?" What a nice guy.
"Yes, do you have special glue for rear-view mirrors that fall off the windshield?"
"Yes, let me show you." And we walked back to Boy #3 just chatting away like we were best friends. "I saw some of that glue yesterday, I hope we're not out of it." he said. "You know it has a funny name, maybe that's why you can't find it."
"Yep, you'll laugh when you see it."
We met up with Boy #3, he was still perusing the glues.
The car guy says, "Ah, we still have some, see here, isn't that a funny name?"
REAR-VIEW MIRROR ADHESIVE
We all had a good laugh. "I can't believe we didn't see that."
"Either can I, hey I got a joke for you."
Two jokes later Boy #3 and I broke away from the WalMart comedian and headed off to the Popsicle aisle.
"I should tell you the joke Grama told your dad and me."
"Grama?" He looked worried, and for good reason.
"It's not that bad."
"Here's the Popsicles."
So there's this little girl and she has her dog on a leash ready to take it for a walk.
"What kind do you want?"
"Grape? They don't sell just grape, they have grape with orange and cherry."
"I'll just eat the grape ones."
So this little girl, she asks her mom if she can take the dog for a walk and the mom says, no she's in heat.
"What else do you want? You need cold stuff because your throat will hurt too, these will really help. Oh the red, white and blue bomb pops. I love those."
"I don't like those, I want fudgesicles."
So she says the dogs in heat you can't take her for a walk and the little girl pouts and insists on taking the dog for a walk.
"Not those, they're fat free. You need all the calories you can get. No, those are sugar free."
"Just for get it. I don't need fudgesicles."
"Would you just wait a minute, I know there are regular sugar filled fudgesicles here somewhere. Fine, just walk away, we have to get your dad's pop, go to the pop aisle."
So the mom says to the little girl, go ask your father. The little girl finds her father in the garage and says she wants to take the dog for a walk. She's in heat honey you can't take her for a walk. But he looks at her sad face and says wait a minute. He gets a rag, pours a little gasoline on it, rubs it on the dogs ass and says there, you take her around the block once, just once, okay?
Boy #3 and I now have six 2 liter bottles in our arms and a box of Popsicles and I say, "We should get Gatorade."
"I just want to go."
"Where is this coming from? We were just laughing with the car guy and now your popping an attitude."
"Can I just say something?"
Oh, he's jumping up on his soapbox. I looked around and we were the only one's in the Gatorade aisle. Both of us with our arms full, why didn't I get a shopping cart? "Go ahead."
"Why do I have to suffer because people can't put their forks down? Everything is fat free or sugar free. I want a fudgesicle full of sugar." This is coming from a kid who, with a darker tan and a distended stomach, would look like a starving Ethiopian child.
Okay so the little girl takes her dog for the walk. She comes back to the garage alone. Uhh, honey, where's the dog? Oh daddy, she ran out of gas about half way around the block so another dog is pushing her home.