Saturday, February 26, 2011

These are the comments I have to deal with when Relax Max gets behind on his reading.

Relax Max, you are guest posting whether you want to or not.
Relax Max said...
Monday morning promised. Sue began her Creature on the Wall post confidently. Monday morning promised...What the hell did Monday morning promise, she thought, sucking idly on her McDonalds “Fake Frappe”, screwing up her face as she pondered the promise of Monday. Sue had something in her eye and looked squintily in the rear view mirror at herself, jerking the wheel back to the right at the blast of the passing truck’s airhorn, almost dropping the cup in the process. Monday, Monday, so good to me. Monday, Monday, it was all I hoped it would be. Oh Monday morning, Monday morning, couldn't guarantee, that Monday evening you would still be here with me. Paula reached over and turned the radio down. She squinted and threw Victor a glance. A squinty glance. But it missed and bounced off the windshield. Victor’s grin got wider and wider until finally it was big enough for her to grab. She shook Victor by the grin until his eyes crossed.Paula looked at the rabbit in the cage and thought of the pound. Do they take rabbits at the pound? She wondered. In her swaggering wondering 30-something way. She dozed off. Paula was wakened by the sound of screeching tires and gravel hitting the underside of the vehicle. Paula had forgotten she was the one driving. “Whew!” Paula thought to herself, no longer swaggering. “I almost got my first big break!” Victor was no longer grinning widely. Victor’s eyes were no longer crossed. Victor’s seat was wet. Pee, she thought. Victor looked at her blankly, still floating somewhere in the outer reaches of car crash purgatory. “Could you please pull over, Paula? I need to change my drawers.”Paula was fully awake now. Both white-knuckled hands gripped the steering wheel like a starving Sudanese child might grip an Egg McMuffin. “Please wait. Be back in two minute.” Victor got out and slammed the door behind him. The trunk popped open. As she waited, Paula’s good eye swaggered up to the billboard at the side of the road. “McGreggor’s Dairy Farm, 3 miles ahead” is said in big red letters. “And Chinese rabbit hutch” some vandal had scrawled below in small blue letters. “Sweet Baby Jesus.” Paula began to pray in earnest, deep in the twilight zone now, feeling less in control of her Monday now than Mo Gadahfi. Where the hoary frack was that idiot cameraman? Paula suddenly felt empty and alone. As alone as a diehard Cleveland Indians fan sitting in the bleachers at Progressive Field during the World Series. “Carrots? Carrots?” moaned the ghostly old beer vendor as he cast a Jacob Marley eye on the rabbit in Paula’s lap. Monday, Monday, can't trust that day. Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way. Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be. Oh Monday Monday, how yould could you leave and not take me?
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This is an actual comment, just one comment. I copied and pasted it from just one comment. He's long winded but visiting his blogs is worth it.
Thank you Relax Max for your guest post.

5 comments:

Relax Max said...

You said I could combine. But you say a lot of things. Thank you for the publicity.

If this doesn't drive away Reforming Greek, nothing will. :)

Sue said...

Relax Max - Yes, I said you could combine. This comment is really something, really.
Leave Carol alone she's one of my best commentors and she has that evil twin she can unleash on you at anytime.

You get a lot of publicity here because of all your time an thought you put into a comment. I never spend that much time on your blogs.

ReformingGeek said...

Oh, my, my. Relaxed Max doesn't appear to be very relaxed. Hee Hee.

Maybe he's jealous that I'm always the first commenter or that Sue likes me best or that I have bodies buried in the backyard...

Kidding. Kidding.

Jamie said...

I think I have comment envy...

Sue said...

Carol - You keep reminding him of those bodies.

Jamie - You have to admit, it was very well thought out wasn't it? Putting a comment together like that needs some recognition.