Monday, February 21, 2011

The Creature in the Wall

Monday morning promised to be an above average Monday. The office was going to literally be a ghost town. All the offices were going dark because of a big meeting out of state. I was up front holding down the fort, so to speak. In other words, peace and quiet. I was looking forward to today almost as much as an Egg McMuffin Friday.
With a big smile on my face I sat down to start my day. Sipping my piping hot cappuccino and going through my emails. It was quiet. Until I heard the noise.
"What the hell was that?"
It came from the wall that is within my reach. I leaned over in my chair and cocked my ear towards the suspicious sound. There it goes again. A co-worker happened upon me while I was staring at the wall.
Now everyone knows that when a wall is making a noise, it's only going to do it when you are alone with it. But I still said, "The wall is making a noise." His eyes lit up because right then he realized that his Monday just got better. He had someone to tease mercilessly for the rest of the day.
"What kind of a noise?" He cared not, I could tell by his grin.
"The kind of noise a creature would make if it was clawing it's way through a wall to attack me, that kind of noise, it's unsettling."
We both remained silent for a few seconds, nothing. He banged on the wall.
"I don't hear anything."
"Of course you don't hear anything, it's going to wait until you leave."
He started to walk away, but I kept talking.
"It's only a matter of time before it breaks through the wall."
My voice grew louder as he continued down the hall.
"I'll be here all alone."
"Uh huh."
"Just waiting for the creature to strike."
He turned the corner.
"Don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll be fine." By now I was shouting.
Alone again. 10 seconds later the creature started to claw it's way out, I whimpered.


ReformingGeek said...

Ah, poor ting. It wanted a drink of that lovely cappuccino.


Symdaddy said...

Something similar happened when we moved into our new building when I worked for Nixdorf Computer AG in Germany.

For three days we heard scuffling in the wall and under the floor.

We all thought 'cat'!

On the fourth day, after floors were ripped up and two wall cavities opened, a badger was found nibbling on cables that were leading to an IBM mainframe.

The janitor and his crew managed to get a tarpaulin over it and a local animal rescue took the beastie to safety.

There was no cappuccino or Egg McMuffin involved though.

Sue said...

Carol - That's what terrified me. Some thing taking my cappuccino, the hell you say!

Symdaddy - I guess I'm going to have to rip these walls down.

Sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jamie said...

I heard sounds in our attic and went up there to investigate. I found a snake skin that was 38 feet long... at least that's how I remember it. Anyway, my wife caught me with a gas can and a grill lighter and stopped me before I torched the house. I should have never listened...

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

So what was it? I have to know...

I once had a squirrel eat its way through the wall of our kitchen. It then went crazy with fear, running and climbing over everything in the apartment until I finally chased it outside.

Scared the crap out of me.

Relax Max said...

Monday morning promised. Sue began her Creature on the Wall post confidently. Monday morning promised...

What the hell did Monday morning promise, she thought, sucking idly on her McDonalds “Fake Frappe”, screwing up her face as she pondered the promise of Monday. Sue had something in her eye and looked squintily in the rear view mirror at herself, jerking the wheel back to the right at the blast of the passing truck’s airhorn, almost dropping the cup in the process.

Monday, Monday, so good to me. Monday, Monday, it was all I hoped it would be. Oh Monday morning, Monday morning, couldn't guarantee, that Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Paula reached over and turned the radio down. She squinted and threw Victor a glance. A squinty glance. But it missed and bounced off the windshield. Victor’s grin got wider and wider until finally it was big enough for her to grab. She shook Victor by the grin until his eyes crossed.

Paula looked at the rabbit in the cage and thought of the pound. Do they take rabbits at the pound? She wondered. In her swaggering wondering 30-something way. She dozed off.

Paula was wakened by the sound of screeching tires and gravel hitting the underside of the vehicle. Paula had forgotten she was the one driving. “Whew!” Paula thought to herself, no longer swaggering. “I almost got my first big break!”

Victor was no longer grinning widely. Victor’s eyes were no longer crossed. Victor’s seat was wet. Pee, she thought. Victor looked at her blankly, still floating somewhere in the outer reaches of car crash purgatory. “Could you please pull over, Paula? I need to change my drawers.”

Paula was fully awake now. Both white-knuckled hands gripped the steering wheel like a starving Sudanese child might grip an Egg McMuffin. “Please wait. Be back in two minute.” Victor got out and slammed the door behind him. The trunk popped open.

As she waited, Paula’s good eye swaggered up to the billboard at the side of the road. “McGreggor’s Dairy Farm, 3 miles ahead” is said in big red letters. “And Chinese rabbit hutch” some vandal had scrawled below in small blue letters.

“Sweet Baby Jesus.” Paula began to pray in earnest, deep in the twilight zone now, feeling less in control of her Monday now than Mo Gadahfi. Where the hoary frack was that idiot cameraman?

Paula suddenly felt empty and alone. As alone as a diehard Cleveland Indians fan sitting in the bleachers at Progressive Field during the World Series. “Carrots? Carrots?” moaned the ghostly old beer vendor as he cast a Jacob Marley eye on the rabbit in Paula’s lap.

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day. Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way. Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be. Oh Monday Monday, how yould could you leave and not take me?

Sue said...

Jamie - Get the hell out of here, 38 foot snake skin? I would never have been able to sleep in that house again.

Mike - Squirrels can chew their way into your house? Mommy!