Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Damn my ancestors for choosing this God forsaken frozen tundra we call Northeast, Ohio

Did you know that there are people down south that are walking on the beach without shoes or socks in their bathing suits? Hmmmm? It's not fair. Damn my ancestors for choosing this God forsaken frozen tundra we call Northeast, Ohio. It's about 53 degrees out there and raining.
Yes, I'm home from the sunshine state, Florida. It was 88 degrees when we left. My tan is peeling off and I have socks and slippers on, the husband is wrapped in a blanket on the couch, we have yet to adjust to the real world. Oh and the car ride, that's a long drive. We are walking around like a couple 80 year olds. Dear God, my back.
I'm not sure when I will begin cooking again, I've grown accustom to people bringing me food, taking away my dishes and giving them money for it. I know that won't work here, "they" have to be hungry, we only left them with a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. Tough love, they fended for themselves. My only stipulation was to take care of the dog. We left her a new bag of dog food, two boxes of biscuits and $10.00 with a sticky note on it saying, "DOG FOOD MONEY".
Since she was alive, well feed and showed no visible signs of distress when we got home "they" received real souvenirs instead of hotel soap. We also bought a bushel of oranges which we let them eat too. One was sick when we left and the other sick when we got home. So we have that to look forward to. Great to be home, really.


ReformingGeek said...

Welcome home, Sue! I'm sorry the weather is chilly. It's ok if you want to get out your Snuggie.

Yum. Oranges.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Wait, it makes sense to me that people would walk around without shoes or socks in their bathing suits. I never put shoes or socks in my bathing suit. Well, almost never. What's wrong with you people in northeastern Ohio?

Sue said...

Thank you Carol, the oranges are delicious.

Hey Mike nice to hear from you! Northeast, Ohio people are very strange, I'm not going to lie.

Relax Max said...

You obviously have no idea how many people come to Ohio from Florida for the summer to get away from the heat, looking in vain for the Winn-Dixie and bringing home bushels of free horse chestnuts gathered in bountiful Ohio cemeteries. Then they reluctantly go back home and find their kids sick and their dogs well-fed. You cry on the way to Krogers with a loaf of bread already under each arm. Think of the starving children in Darfur and Michigan.

I grew up in Michigan and remember trick or treating and dreaming of kids knocking on doors down in balmy Ohio, where rubber masks didn't freeze to your face and your bags of candy didn't drop pathetically in the driveways from your numb fingers. The people in the houses behind the frosty glass storm doors used to throw frozen peanut butter kisses at us and bounce them off our foreheads for comedy relief. The county used to take us poorer kids down to Detroit in schoolbuses on field trips during the winter riot season, just so we could get warm from the burning storefronts. Ohioans would spend the winters in Florida and we would hitchhike to Ohio, land of wonderment and full employment, and sleep in their vacant homes for a week of bliss on the shag carpets that permeated buckeye heaven.

Oh, the stories I could tell. Like getting your eight year old rubber booted foot stuck down in an ice-fishing hole miles out on Lake Huron and getting it froze down in there and having your parents leave you there to toughen you up. But I won't tell you those stories, stories that pampered Ohio children never experience. Stories of Vernor's pop and New Era potato chips and Koegel's vienna franks and tongues frozen to Michigan railroad tracks. All the time dreaming, "Next year in Ohio" like the Jews used to dream of Jerusalem.

Those were the days.

Sue said...

Relax Max - I know I ask for that after my comment on your blog and I appreciate all the effort you put into your comments, really. Thank you.

Relax Max said...

Yeah? Sounds pretty phony to me, missy. I'll stop then. You can keep your snide Ohio sarcasm in your own pocket thank you very much. Like I would believe you trying to be nice to me, with the "thank you" even. I hope your dog throws up on your shag carpet.

Sue said...

I am being nice to you damn it.

You know all you have to say is, "I like your blog and I learn a lot here." But you don't you write a comment longer than my posts.

I appreciate it, damn it.

Hey Mike, Ohio people are strange, this is true. But as you can see Michigan people are all kinds of crazy.