No, I'm not superstitious

It's just that my last post was number 666. And I don't want it to stay there for Halloween. And it's about time I posted this song again, because it's a classic.

Happy Halloween!

I had to put a lower quality video, the other one became unavailable. Thanks for letting me know Relax Max!

It's not hard to figure out they're up to something

Either everyone on my parents street is having an underground bunker dug in their yards or they are having the decrepit water pipes replaced or they are having underground bunkers dug and using the water pipes as cover. This of course was going through my head as I waited to be waved by, by the driver of the giant earth moving truck.
"Ah, I can go now? Can he even see me? Great, I'll just weave through these orange barrels, through the mud and over this bump and pull into what is now being called my parents driveway."
Did I mention my parents are in their 70's? No? Let me go tell this guy.
"Hello."
"Hi."
"Can you tell me at any given moment while you are working here or have these vehicles parked for the night that an emergency vehicle will not be hindered in any possible way, at all, never ever?"
"Oh, yes ma'am." He ma'amed me, the son of bitch. "We take that into consideration, have had it happen before too, not a problem."
"Thank you. I have to go now before my dad sees me, don't tell him about my inquiry or he'll be mad at me, thank you."
"Yes ma'am." Again?

Two birds, one stone. Mom and dad can be whisked away to the emergency room in a timely, efficient manner. And they are totally building underground bunkers. I want one. Or I need to secure a place in mom and dads before Erv does.

Do underground bunkers come supplied with canned goods, guns and ammo or is that something you have to take care of yourself? I need to do some underground bunker research this weekend. I need to be ready for impending doom.

Mom walked me out to my car after my visit because I told dad that mom and I had a bit of girl talk to take care of, which we did, I don't lie to my parents, they've known me too long. After we talked we surveyed the mess on their street. "What will you do on Halloween night? You'll loose half the little trick-or-treaters in the holes, won't find them until morning." She laughed. Then I told her about the conversation I had with the underground bunker digger.
"You know I was worried about an ambulance being able to get through here."
"Well you don't have to worry anymore, I took care of it. Those guys are scared of me now."

Start digging Erv, I've secured my spot.

Halloween Parade of Prostitutes

I counted about twelve prostitutes walking up to my doorstep this Halloween night. Fishnet stockings, high heels and a little tight dress that goes up to her twat is a prostitute. Their parents are delusional if they think they look like anything else.
"Here honey, have a fun size Kit Kat and go put some pants on."
I thanked the Lord above about 27 times tonight for giving me boys. One of the hookers in training walked by my house 4 times.

NO! No, no, no, oh please, please don't let her be one of Boy #3's friends.

Boy #3 then appeared with his rag tag group of friends. I pointed the prostitute out, at which time the group hid in the bushes.
"That's right baby, you hide from the godless Jezebel. I'm the onliest woman in my boys life."

Chocolate Attack

During my frantic search for chocolate I ran across one solitary piece of Bubble Yum bubble gum. Ohhhhh! I haven't had a piece of Bubble Yum bubble gum in about 10 years. Along with the gum, were an wide assortment of forgotten candy, stuck up in a bowl on the top shelf of my cupboard. Two stale Hershey's Kisses were eaten immediately and then I popped the gum in my mouth. Who knows how old it was, but I'm still chomping on it. I blew a couple bubbles near the dog and her ears stood up inquisitively.
When the chocolate fix was taken care of, I went on to looking for my scrub brush because sometimes I clean stuff. Right there is where I found my Halloween candy stash. Doh! I hid so well this year it withstood a chocolate attack.