It's time to talk about what goes on in the bathroom?

I beg to differ. I don't think there's ever going to be a time to discuss, with total strangers, what goes on in the bathroom. But apparently toilet paper commercials do think it's time. I don't need to see cartoon bears with toilet paper pieces stuck to their butts. How do we even know if they use toilet paper. I highly doubt it, especially since we are not even sure if a bear actually does $h!t in the woods.
Is the toilet paper commercial subliminally using the saying, 'Does a bear $h!t in the woods?' By using bears in the woods in their commercials? You would have to admit that is a little clever. But a momma bear holding up a pair of underoos to inspect....
STOP!
Bring back Mr. Whipple.
He brought dignity to toilet paper commercials and never actually let on what toilet paper was for because we all knew. Just tell us it's 2-ply and soft, that's all we need to know. Listen to me toilet paper companies and listen good. I will not buy your toilet paper if you refer to railroad tracks, ever.