I figured out the Olympics

I figured out their crazy commercial system they have going on. No one had to explain it to me although it's probably common knowledge. I'd sit down to watch TV and of course nothing is on except the Olympics, so I decide to watch. Switching to the Olympic channel there is a commercial on and then another. I think I sat through 27 commercials before I saw an Olympic event.
Okay, alright, here we go, I'm watching the 2012 Olympics. I took a sip of my Pepsi and reclined in my chair. We were in the track and field area and I was hoping I'd get to see some big guys throwing stuff. But no they were getting ready to show us a race, the 100 yard dash. That's what I call it because I refuse to conform to the metric system like the rest of the world and I'm rock solid on this issue because math is hard.
Obviously the object of the 100 yard dash is to win in the least amount of seconds and milli-seconds as possible. The race is really, really fast so I ask myself, 'what will they show us next?'
A commercial.
A commercial? Hey! I just watched 238 commercials, 15 seconds of the Olympics and you're going to show me more commercials? I don't think so. I debated whether I wanted to get out the LOST DVD's, all 6 seasons, I've been saving them for a rainy day. It would be fun to watch from the beginning now that I know the secrets of the smoke monster. The problem is it just won't rain. I ended up on FaceBook.
I tried watching again a few days later, Men's Volleyball, I wrote about it here. We, the husband and I tried to figure out, well I express some interest in the game, the husband had his finger on the remotes 'change the channel' button. I realized as the game progressed there were no commercials.
Doh!
The network has to get so many commercials in during the airing of the Olympics. So race, commercial, race, commercial, vault, commercial, balance beam, commercial and then an entire game of volleyball. See how that works? I guess it makes sense but I'm not going to sit through 549 commercials unless Jesus is giving a speech.

I'm just here to observe

"Curling's on!"
Boy #3 was the first to join me, "Awesome, are we going to try to figure it out this time?"
"I don't think so. Remember how I told you I thought my brain was getting bigger?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that."
Boy #2 joined us, "Curling's on! Who's winning?"
"It looks like the Americans, their little flag in the upper left hand corner has 4 and the other little flag has 2."
"What inning are they in?"
"We don't know."
Girlfriend #2 sat down on the couch, "Is this the Olympics?"
"It's only Olympic Curling." We all rolled our eyes at the same time. "What's the object of this game?"
The husband got home just as we were about to try to explain rocks and sweeping.
"Curling's on!"
"Are they trying to slid that thing in the bulls-eye at the other end of the ice?"
"We think so, pretty sure."
"The sweeping...... I don't get it."
"We don't either. But look at them sweep, they're fast."
"Why are you watching this?"
"We can't not watch it, it's Olympic Curling."

For the next hour we sat mesmerized by the ice sweeping and the strategic slid of the "rock" sometimes called stones. Never knowing when the game was going to be over, never knowing who was getting a point or why - good times.