My heart can't take another Monday like the one I had this past week, Friday can't get here fast enough.
First I'd like to blame the government, they presented me with a jury duty summons. On my way to work after picking up my precious liquid that is mocha, I thought of my jury duty and then thought, "No!, Is it this week? Oh my God, am I suppose to be convicting felons today? Am I a felon now?" And then my heart slowly descended out of my throat as I realized that it's next week. Can I just ask one thing? Instead of drawing from a pool of registered voters, why not draw from the pool of unemployed, living off the backs of the working people, people? Why take me away from my job when there are people unemployed at home watching Oprah?
The next group of people to blame for my almost heart attack would be men. Just going to generalize on this one. I'm lumping you all in with the guy that shook me down deep into my very soul. The guy that thought it was funny to call me at work and pretend to be the police asking for me and inquiring about my car that was involved in an accident. He had no way of knowing my kids had just lost a friend in a car accident this past weekend, but how is that funny anyway? I sat at work thinking of this kids family, looking at the clock and realizing the funeral is starting in 5 minutes, a mom and dad and a brother were going to be saying goodbye to that 19 year old boy and I get a call from the comedian. I lost it at work and retreated to the ladies room for 10 minutes, letting the damn phone ring, hoping someone was answering it. Is lumping you all in with this guy fair, probably not, sorry.
And number 3 heart stopping group, the police. Ha. Maybe just their cars with those damn sirens. When you are innocently driving back to your "going nowhere" job, they pull out of a parking lot and put their sirens on, that makes your heart sink. Fortunately it wasn't me he was after.
So Monday my heart ending up in my throat, my stomach and broke into a thousand pieces. That can't be good. I'm not even sure it's worked it's way back to the right place in my chest. I pretty much gave up on keeping my brain intact but now I have to worry if my heart is secure in there.