The bucket and the bell ringer
Is it just me or has anyone noticed that there is a bucket and a bell ringer at every store in America? Every drug store, every grocery store, WalMart, Target, Kohl's. I'm as charitable as the next person but I'm down about 10 bucks this blessed holiday season so far. I worry when I drive into a parking lot, break out into a cold sweat wondering if I have any singles in my wallet. It's affecting my every day life, "Wait! That's my last single, I need it for the bucket!"
Try explaining that to her at the Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dudes fine establishment. If she goes to "ah Casino" for Thanksgiving how do I get the whole bucket and bell ringer concept across to her? She made it all to clear a few years ago, exact change is highly recommended. I tried to explain I needed my singles for the boys lunch money. She didn't care if my boys had lunch, why would she care about the down trodden and destitute? I'm frightened. I need to go to the bank.
I've started looking for stores without that red tripod with the red bucket dangling from it or better yet, sit in the parking lot and wait for the bell ringer to go on break, or sometimes you can see the tripod but the bucket is missing that's when you make a break for it. Run into the store during a terrible blizzard, bad weather chases away God's chosen ones, the people that give up hours of their day to stand out in the cold ringing a bell to get you to donate.
I'm a horrible person. I have to go check my wallet and make sure I have enough singles in there for when I go shopping tomorrow. Because I won't pass up a bucket without making my deposit. God bless the bell ringers. I think I'm going to hell, damn it.
7 comments:
I'm so glad I can walk by the ringers with a smile and a "Happy Holidays", my wallet intact.
I say that but I'll probably donate sometime next week. I think I have a couple of singles. ;-)
Word ver: comic
As a 'doer' of charitable deeds myself, I can walk past any collection bucket without fear!
My label of "meanest ba$tard that ever roamed the face of the earth" is well earned ... but only because my job (as a carer) is so poorly paid that I have to look after every penny.
The strangest thing...I was at Wal-Mart on Wednesday and there was no bell ringer or bucket. I think maybe somebody killed him. I even had singles that day too, dang it.
I usually pretend to be engrossed in a cell phone conversation when I walk by the bell-ringers. It prevents the eye-contact and the obgligatory "happy holidays!" greeting. And I get to keep all my cash. :o)
Carol - Why do I have such a hard time walking past it and you don't? Not fair!
Symdaddy - Glad to hear you're a doer.
Leeuna - It wasn't me, I swear!
Sassy - That's a great idea, I'm trying it!
We used to have the bell ringers everywhere, but I haven't seen one this year. It's probably because I've never given one thin dime to them. I like to give my money directly to people. Seriously, that's what I do.
Mike - So the bell ringers go where the action is, is that what you're saying? I have to shop where people like you live, the thin dime hoarders?
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