Saturday, December 18, 2010

I think I might detect a note of sarcasm

Since Ma and Pa refuse to own a computer they are missing a lot not being able to read my blog. So I copy and paste the posts and send them to their email machine. This seems to have made mother happy, now she can join in the blog conversation. Except she tells me not to use the word snot in my posts. Apparently snot mildly offends her. What really offends the hell out of her is when I use the word twat. So I stopped sending her my offensive posts that have the words snot and twat in them. Also my dad is still trying to figure out which side of the family Aunt Flo is from.
I have been lacks in sending posts to the email machine lately and when my Aunt and Uncle called they mentioned to mother how funny they thought this post was:
Shopping with mother and the two areas I must avoid to maintain my sanity.
Yikes, I guess I have to send that one over. Thirteen days later mother and I went Christmas shopping. "I want to go to Macy's."
"We'll go there first mom." It's her favorite store, she loves it.
We browsed, we consulted, we bought, we laughed, we discussed lunch, we heard, "Attention Macy's shoppers, spend $25.00 at our Lancome` counter and get a free gift."
"That's in the perfume section, isn't it honey?"
"So you read it then."
"Let's go to the lingerie section next."
I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I can tell when I'm being set up.
"Huh uh, I'm hungry, let's get lunch."
"You know I think you exaggerated some."
"Maybe, a little, but that's what humor is, right? You're not mad are you?"
"No," she says on the way to lunch, which I'm probably going to pay through the nose for. "Oh look, there's Victoria Secret. Want to go in there, that ought to be worth a couple paragraphs."

8 comments:

00dozo said...

Ha, ha! Your mom reminds me of my grandmother - she gets the jokes (and is probably secretly amused), but still throws that 'guilt' around. Oy!

In case you aren't around - and it looks to be shaping into a very quiet week around the bloggerhood - Happy Holidays!!

Sue said...

00dozo - Secretly amused, yes. I think she likes staring in my blog. And yeah, I don't know when I'll post again, it depends on how much I get done tomorrow. Happy Holidays to you too!

Candice said...

Ha! Probably a good thing your mother doesn't read my blog. ;)

Sue said...

Candice, you'd be in big trouble if my mother read your blog.

ReformingGeek said...

Oops. Poor Sue.

Moms and blogs spell trouble.

;-)

Leeuna said...

"that ought to be worth a couple paragraphs," hahaha. Now that's real blogger talk. Funny how we rate the worth of things in blog fodder.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

My mother reads my blog all the time, and she doesn't like it when I say twat or snot, either.

Hey!

Twat or Snot sounds like a new game from the Parker Bros., or Milton-Bradley! We could be rich, Sue!

Sue said...

Carol - Yes, poor me!

Leeuna - When she said that, geez it was priceless. Merry Christmas to you too!

Mike - The Twat and Snot Game, I like it!