Pre-Marriage Advice

Mom sat me down before I got married and said, "Honey?"
Oh God.
"When your husband asks you what you want....."
How do I stop her?
"You make sure you tell him jewelry. Don't let him buy you a set of beer mugs for Christmas. Always, always say jewelry."

Feeling like I dodged a bullet, the conversation really didn’t register until the morning of our first Christmas together. After opening my presents I realized what mom was trying to tell me. Ask for jewelry and you won’t get his and her beer mugs from your husband.

Things Left Unsaid

By the title of this post it almost looks like I'm going to get sappy. Not my style. After reviewing some of my previous posts, I've come to the realization that I left a few things up in the air. Like for instance:

1. My mom didn't get mad at me for shopping for a bra without her, but did get mad at me for blogging about it.
2. The Prom went off with hardly a hitch. The tuxedo looked exactly like last years, but with a blue vest instead of pink. I forgot to order a corsage and had to buy one that was made by mistake.
3. I'm still smiling at my new job.
4. Boy #3's "analyzed knee fluid" show some sort of trauma, in other words, he hurt it but doesn't want to tell me how he did it.
5. Someone stole some of my birthday chocolate and I think it was the damn diabetic. Mommy's babies know better - it was him.

There you have it. A recap of previous post. I'm pretending not to notice that no-one really commented to find out how things turned out. I'm sure you guys are really busy.

The Complete Grandma Look

I’m just not as excited about summer wear as I use to be. It’s an age thing. Specifically those little purple veins on my legs. My shorts are getting longer year after year. So I’m going to get a few pairs of 511 Tactical Shorts because they have a lot of pockets. Maybe I’ll be able to fill the pockets with some of the junk I carry in my purse and lighten that load that’s weighing down my left shoulder and while I’m at it I might as well tuck a tissue in my sleeve and complete my grandma look.

Let the Partying Begin

I say bring it on baby! We have some kind of a party scheduled every weekend for the rest of the summer. Thank God for a steady paycheck. May is an expensive month in our family, so we've put a ban on anymore events taking place in May. No weddings are allowed to take place in the month of May and pregnancies must be planned carefully. It had to be done or we're going to have to start putting up a Christmas tree May 1st.
June traditionally the month of graduation parties, is also filled with bridal showers and a 50th anniversary party. All I can do is hope for plenty of alcohol being served at each and every one of the parties we have to misfortune of being invited to.
The boys have conspired against us, one is getting married this summer, one is graduating and one is learning to drive. I'll be selling a kidney by August.

Did I say misfortune of being invited to? Rather harsh especially since I'm having parties of my own this summer. Disregard that statement!

Crackle, Whoosh, Thud

I'm hip to the sound a tree makes when it falls. Because the trees in are neighborhood are, for lack of a better word, whimpy. So when I heard the unmistakable sound of crackle, whoosh, thud, my first thought was, "Oh please let it be my neighbors tree."
Very insensitive of me, but all the neighbors were saying that to themselves. The thought of spending, what was turning out to be a very lazy weekend, on the phone with insurance companies, tree removal and contractors didn't appeal to me in the least.
This post can remain somewhat humorous because no one was under the tree. And it wasn't my tree. When I looked out the front door there was a tree strategically place across the street and the neighbors were starting to gather.
"Anyone call 911 yet?"
There were some blank stares and heads shaking no.
"I'll do it." I'm a take charge kind of person and I've called 911 more times then I've cared too.
I told the 911 operator my street name and she said, "Fallen tree across street and no one hurt?"
"Yep."
"We're already on it."
I put my sweatshirt on and congregated with the neighbors, some of us hadn't seen each other since last fall, so it was nice to catch up.
A tree across the main road in a development needs to be removed immediately. You know in case anyone has a heart attack or falls into our lake, an ambulance needs to be able to drive through. The first to arrive was one policeman and a chainsaw. Boy #2 informed me later that he was using the chainsaw wrong and it could have kicked back at him. As the policeman cut pieces of the tree off, the neighbors all jumped in to clear the street. It's great to have good neighbors. And I stood their wondering if I had time to get my camera to take a picture for when I blog about this. I didn't want to spoil the moment of neighborhood camaraderie, so I stayed put, didn't want to miss any gossip either.

Brain Cells, The Weather and Super Human Powers

It seems I have my brain bursitis again. My weather changing gauge in my head. It's somewhat annoying, because really, I don't need a headache to tell me it's going to rain. We have weathermen for that and clouds. It is kind of cool though that I got the husband up early to cut the grass. I have to use these special powers only for good.
I am a little concerned for my precious brain cells, so few of them in there, I don't want to lose any active ones and the kids have been zapping at them for years. I'm making a conscious effort to eat more tuna, fish is brain food.
Since starting my new job I've been spreading the brain cells rather thin. Using some for work, then when I get home I put a few on stand by. That can be dangerous, because when making spaghetti last week I forgot to put the meatballs in the sauce. That was a disappointing dinner.
See how this post took on a life of it's own? I have to figure out a way to evenly distribute my brain powers to save the brain cells, either that or learn how to shoot fire balls out of my finger tips. I've always wanted to do that..............

My Birthday Haul!

This birthday today has made me realize that my children actually listen to me. Maybe they have selective hearing but they know what mommy wants! I have, as you can see in the picture, an ample supply of chocolate and a container of Fuel Injection Cleaner. Boy #3 knows the way to a happy mom is to keep her chocolate stash well stocked. Boy #2 remembers a conversation we had in the car one day about my gas hog SUV. Boy #2 also brought home a hanging flower basket. Boy #1 brought me a hanging flower basket for the other side of the porch and a gift card, so I can buy some clothes for work. My love of chocolate does not go unnoticed by my parents either, today they stopped over with a chocolate covered strawberry as big as my fist.

My brother, on the other hand, one ups his birthday cards for me every year. I should have been meaner to him when he was shorter than me.

The front of the card from my dear brother says, Happy Birthday Mom.................
On the inside it says, Oops!! I mean Sis!!! Every year it gets harder and harder to tell you two apart.

His birthday is not until December, but I will be starting my search for the perfect card now.


I hauled in some good presents this year, being close to Mother's Day is a plus, double presents. I went out with my gift cards today, BY MYSELF, and bought a new pair of jeans for Casual Friday, three tops, a pair of pants and new shoes. I'm going to have to go bra shopping again, because these two black with red pin strip bra's are going to show through some of my spring/summer wardrobe.

And the presents keep coming! As I was editing this post the wonderful husband came home with a dozen chocolate covered strawberries. He made them himself at his sisters house. I'm probably not going to fit in the new clothes I just bought.

Hey Mom? Does This Look Right To You?

"One knee twice it's size, no honey, it doesn't look right. What the hell did you do?"
"Nothing."
"Let me guess. You were just standing there?"
'I was just standing there' is the is the standard response when I ask, 'What did you do?' I should know better by now, try to mix up my standard questions.

Boy #3 and I spent the late afternoon yesterday at the doctors office. Now with three boys, I've seen my share of "procedures" but fluid extraction from a knee was a first for me. Pretty cool. The normal color of "knee fluid" is yellowish/greenish. That's what the doctor told me. There was no blood in it so that was a plus. The fact that Boy #3 has no idea what happened and feels no pain has the doctor puzzled, hands on his hips, eyebrows scrunched puzzled. So the "knee fluid" is on it's way to the lab and we get to go to the orthopedic surgeon Friday.
I tried like hell to get the appointment with the cute orthopedic surgeon that my mother-in-law goes to but couldn't get in, damn!

All This And a Smile

I've been receptionisting the hell out of my new job. Trying to wrap my brain around invoices, receivers, statements and purchase orders. Ordering lunches, learning extensions, giving directions to truck drivers. Keeping everybody on schedule and making sure they get their mail. All this with a smile on my face.
I never knew I had it in me.
The smiling part I mean.
I'm getting behind on my blogging and for that I am sorry. But I am getting into a routine, so the laughter will be along shortly!