Bitching and moaning about the weather, just to get it out of my system

On March 10th Northeast, Ohio enjoyed a sunshine and lollipop day with 50 degree temperatures. Native Northeast Ohioans know it's a cruel trick from Mother Nature. But we never learn and our biggest mistake is enjoying the warm weather in March too much. In the back of our brains where we store the weather memories there is a tiny voice telling us,
"Winter isn't over, pace yourself and Jesus, Mary and Joseph, don't do anything stupid."
I have compiled a list of the stupid:
1. Do not look for a pair of shorts and your flip flops.
2. Do not put any sweaters away, even the big bulky wool one that itches if you wear in a temperature above 7 degrees.
3. Look at the picture of my front steps. See the snow shovel propped up against the steps? That will be there until June 1st. Never put your snow shovels away in March, ever."
4. Snow blowers (see stupid #3) Cousin Mike, I hope you are reading this. You put your snow blower away, admitted it and now see what you've done. Part of this is your fault and I told you so. Pretty sure I swore at you too.
5. It's too early to play corn hole.
6. The rock salt that you have near the front door to keep from cracking your head open by slipping on the icy steps, leave it there all year. Just put an umbrella in front of it, people will understand.
7. When we are driving stay out of our way because we have only scraped enough ice off our windshield to see straight ahead until the defroster melts the rest. Seriously, we can't see when we are driving in March snow.
8. Rodents with cutesy names don't know there ass from a hole in the ground. Expecting them to predict the weather.....stupid.
9. If you have just moved to our lovely part of the fruited plain we expect a mistake or two the first couple years. But if you keep it up we will be at your doorstep with pitch forks and torches.
10. Don't enjoy yourself too much, this bares repeating.
There you have it, my expert non-jinxing weather advice.

Just one more thing. I had an essay published in the online parent magazine The Imperfect Parent. Go to this link and click on the thumbs up 'like' button: Let's pretend you didn't break your arm and go on vacation

Then maybe I'll look popular and they will give me more assignments. This will be the last time I bug you for this, probably.

Can We Just Get This Over With Already?

I'm dancing around my post today, trying not to lose any guy readers I may have. But I'm going to post about it. It wasn't on my mind while getting ready for work this morning, the arctic weather was. Worrying about my car starting and making sure I was layered up, making sure I remembered my shoes so I didn't have to schlep around in my fake Uggs all day, weighed heavily on my mind. In my car the digital thermometer registered at 1 degree. Coffee, lunch, shoes, purse, the car started, mission accomplished.
That is why I sat on the exam table for my gynecological visit staring at my socks. "What the hell were you thinking?" I asked myself.
"The only piece of clothing you are allowed to keep on and you picked these?" I yelled at myself.
"These socks are three 'machine washed on warm' away from having holes in them and did you even think of shaving your legs? No, I think not."
I sat there in my paper gown with the opening in the front and fidgeted with the paper sheet. The temperature had gone all the way up to 9 by the time I left work but I sat in that exam room wiping my hands on the paper sheet. My palms were sweating. The armpits started to feel the heat. "I hope they don't smell. Oh my God! You couldn't shave those either? He's going to think I'm a skamoch."
After waiting there long enough to give myself a good talking to, the doctor came in and we finally got that over with. Stay tuned for the mammogram post.

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On a serious note, if any of my readers are also readers/friends of fellow bloggers, The World of Silly Willy and Fluffy, they could use some kind words, as they are going through a family emergency. They are my Aunt and Uncle and my cousin is in critical condition. Thanks in advance.

A Winter Weather Warning Is In Effect

I'm snowed in today along with my family, I fear cabin fever maybe setting in. Every time the snowplow rumbles by the house the dog has to run up to the window and bark at it just to show the neighborhood who's boss. The dog is also having a hard time finding a place to pee, as the snow is up to her twat. Then she gets her leash wrapped around the light post and barks at me. She knows she has to go around it because as soon as I put on my fake Uggs and get lured out in the snow she unwinds herself and runs up the steps.

I had a Mrs. Kravitz moment today: The neighbor across the street drove into his driveway with his car and then backed out, drove in, backed out, drove in and backed out. Me, having nothing better to do, watched with interest.
"What's this moron doing?"
The only thing I could think of, is that he was trying to smoosh down the snow to avoid shoveling. I haven't had a Mrs. Kravitz moment for a while, I'll need to stare mindlessly out my office window more often, the neighbors never disappoint.
It seems I am now in charge of keeping the fire going in the fireplace, since the husband has fallen asleep. He couldn't take all the winter weather warnings streaming across the bottom of his TV screen. Boy #3 is hiding in his room, he knows I will soon present him with a shovel. I can be patient, he's going to get hungry soon.

I Think This Is My Fault

My last words on my last post were.......
I would love some snow right now.

Then while I slept under my new, lovely shade of cream colored comforter with two muddy paw-prints on it, it snowed. An arctic blast blew through Northeast Ohio, leaving a hell of a commute to work for those of us that had to go to work and not have the day off. Huh....
Should I blame it on that old tired saying, 'Be careful what you wish for.' I just wanted the mud covered up for a couple months so I could train the dog to wipe her paws. She could totally do it too. She's smart.
Maybe I have a blogging genie that's granting me wishes, I've made a few new blogging buddies over at Humor-Blogs.com. Maybe I've rub someone the right way. Ha! Thank you all by the way for the Smiley Votes and yes, I vote for myself, but it's just to see if the vote smiley thingamajig is working right.
Now don't forget my Financial Advice for tonight, given a couple days ago. I'm going to have to start a Financial Blog now, especially if this works.......
I would love a million dollars right now.

Brain Cells, The Weather and Super Human Powers

It seems I have my brain bursitis again. My weather changing gauge in my head. It's somewhat annoying, because really, I don't need a headache to tell me it's going to rain. We have weathermen for that and clouds. It is kind of cool though that I got the husband up early to cut the grass. I have to use these special powers only for good.
I am a little concerned for my precious brain cells, so few of them in there, I don't want to lose any active ones and the kids have been zapping at them for years. I'm making a conscious effort to eat more tuna, fish is brain food.
Since starting my new job I've been spreading the brain cells rather thin. Using some for work, then when I get home I put a few on stand by. That can be dangerous, because when making spaghetti last week I forgot to put the meatballs in the sauce. That was a disappointing dinner.
See how this post took on a life of it's own? I have to figure out a way to evenly distribute my brain powers to save the brain cells, either that or learn how to shoot fire balls out of my finger tips. I've always wanted to do that..............

Grandma's Have Bursitis

Why does my head feel like it's going to explode every time there is a major change in the weather? It's a sinus thing. I thought old people only felt the change in weather with their bodies. Do I have bursitis? What is bursitis? Grandma's talk about bursitis all the time. Oh all right, I'll look it up.
bur·si·tis [ber-sahy-tis]
noun Pathology.
inflammation of a bursa.

What the hell is a bursa?

bur·sa /ˈbɜrsə/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[bur-suh]
noun, plural .
a pouch, sac, or vesicle, esp. a sac containing synovia, to facilitate motion, as between a tendon and a bone.

Does that clear everything up? I'm pretty sure I don't have tendons in my head. But I can't be 100% sure of that. I'm leaning towards a sinus headache more and more. I think I'll just take some asprin instead of delving into the weather change/sinus headache phenomenon.

The Weekend Wallop

Ummmm...... It hasn't stopped snowing since Friday morning. This morning I was outside with Boy #2 helping him clean off my car so he could get to work. I made him take mine, it's 4 wheel drive. He's is now safely home and I can stop worrying. The snow is twice as high as it is in the picture and still coming down. Digging out maybe a little more than I thought it would be Monday morning. The weatherman here in Northeast Ohio, the legendary Dick Goddard, is calling it The Weekend Wallop!

Northeast Ohio Getting Clobbered

The weatherman can be so dramatic. For anyone that's lived in this area for any length of time, it's just snowing, all weekend. But we are forced to listen to the end of the world weather forecasts and have weather bulletins trailing across the bottom of our TV screen for the weekend. The husband has a fire going in the fireplace. The dogs has camped out in front of it. We have some DVD's from the library and a fridge full of food. We will dig ourselves out Monday.

St. Augustine is Hoppin'

More information is coming in from the Florida front! The aunts and uncles feed me information from Florida to pass on to my mom and dad. Mom and dad don’t think much of emailing. They are anti-technology. Most of the aunts and uncles that have fled the Northeast Ohio winter weather are located near St. Augustine. It sounds like they are having fun. The latest email is informing me of First Friday Weekend Art Walk. Starting December 7th and 8th and then every first Friday and Saturday every month there is, what the aunts and uncles are so excited about, St. Augustine Artwalk. There will be art exhibits from painting to photography, architecture, music, refreshments and a lot more. It sounds like the streets of St. Augustine will be hoppin’! They can do that sort of thing in the winter in Florida without getting frostbite. My next Florida vacation will be in or very near St. Augustine, it’s a beautiful city from what I’m hearing through the family email chain. And as I watch the snow come down as I type, well hear we go again with the shovels, boots and snow scrapers. St. Augustine sounds more appealing the deeper we get into the lovely Northeast Ohio weather.