A Winter Weather Warning Is In Effect

I'm snowed in today along with my family, I fear cabin fever maybe setting in. Every time the snowplow rumbles by the house the dog has to run up to the window and bark at it just to show the neighborhood who's boss. The dog is also having a hard time finding a place to pee, as the snow is up to her twat. Then she gets her leash wrapped around the light post and barks at me. She knows she has to go around it because as soon as I put on my fake Uggs and get lured out in the snow she unwinds herself and runs up the steps.

I had a Mrs. Kravitz moment today: The neighbor across the street drove into his driveway with his car and then backed out, drove in, backed out, drove in and backed out. Me, having nothing better to do, watched with interest.
"What's this moron doing?"
The only thing I could think of, is that he was trying to smoosh down the snow to avoid shoveling. I haven't had a Mrs. Kravitz moment for a while, I'll need to stare mindlessly out my office window more often, the neighbors never disappoint.
It seems I am now in charge of keeping the fire going in the fireplace, since the husband has fallen asleep. He couldn't take all the winter weather warnings streaming across the bottom of his TV screen. Boy #3 is hiding in his room, he knows I will soon present him with a shovel. I can be patient, he's going to get hungry soon.

Mrs. Kravitz Moment, Aug. 4, 2008

I'm so proud of the neighbor kid. He's finally shed the training wheel monkey off his back and is riding around the neighborhood on two wheels, mom and little sister running behind him.

I know my readers have been patiently waiting for my latest "Mrs. Kravitz moment," the last one was about turds. It started off with the kid and the training wheels but ended up with dog poop. You just never know what will unfold outside your office window.
Today I'm focusing on one of the first major steps towards independence. And I don't think she's going to let him do it just yet. She's keeping up with him pretty well. I don't know what it is with us moms and their children riding off and leaving you in the dust on that first solo bike ride, but it tugs hard at the heart. Perhaps we know right then, deep down that we're the next monkey on their backs they are going to try to shake.

I won't get sappy, I won't get sappy, I won't get sappy.

Maybe I'm a little sappy because I've spent the last 3 weeks signing Boy #2 up for college classes and when sitting in the councilors offices in college, all of a sudden I became a lump in the second chair with my purse on my lap. Straining to see over my baby's broad shoulder as he plans his future.
Is this the little boy I taught to ride a bike?
Shouldn't I have a little more say in what he does with his life so he can support me when I'm old?
I'm getting away from this window before I get all misty.

Turd Grabbers

During my recent Mrs. Kravitz moment as I watched my neighbors teaching their little boy how to ride a bike, I couldn't help but notice at least five people going by the house walking their dogs. I've been known to stare out my window for long periods of time. It's part of my fat ass problem.
The dog walkers all strolled past at various times and in various shapes and sizes, but all with one thing in common, a filled poop bag. The way they all confidently walked past my house you could tell they were skilled, seasoned dog walkers. They have a certain air about them as they saunter by with a leash in one hand and swinging a bag of poop in the other. For those of you that do not have a dog to walk, let me explain to you how the poop gets in the bag.
It's somewhat of an art form. Since a dog will crap just about anywhere, owners must always be on the ready for turd removal. They take their plastic bag and stick their hand in it. Grab the turds with just that thin layer of plastic between their hand and the doo doo. With a single motion they will swoop those turds into the bag, turning it inside out and tie a knot in the bag, securing the turds and smell neatly in the bag of their choice, continuing merrily on their way in less than a minute.
They are an elite group of turd grabbers, for this is not an easy task. Getting it all in one felt swoop requires skill. Not dropping a single turd requires concentration and patience. So when you see a turd grabber walking down the street, give them a nod of encouragement, they have skills beyond ours, they are good at what they do and they are keeping the community poop free.