Who peed in grandma's toilet?

"Did you hear that?"

"Like a beeping?"

"Yeah."

"Probably Boy #3 and his video games."

And girlfriend #2 and I continued to watch the season premier of Survivor Nicaragua. Survivor is one of my favorite shows, don't judge me. I seemed to have hooked girlfriend #2 and she's happy to go along the Survivor ride with me.

"I hear it again."

"Yeah, where's the husbands phone? He always leaves it in the living room."

He has a new phone with a stupid ring-tone, it just kind of beeps.

"I'm going to have to pause the season premier. Damn."

I found the phone in our bedroom and I had no idea how to use it, can't check to see if there's a missed call. Damn. The husband and Boy #2 are in the middle of home improvement downstairs, if I go down there, I might never come back up. They'll ask me to hold something for a minute and hours will go by before I get released. But a missed phone call might be from work. Damn.

I went down there. The husband had a blow torch in his hand and some silver stuff in the other. He put the silver stuff down and I dodged out of the way of the blow torch. Boy #2 is lucky to still be alive down here. The husband checked his phone and said, "It was mom, here call her back, it's ringing." I ducked out of the way of the blow torch and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Mom it's Sue."

"Hi, was my son over here today?"

"Huh? Did you stop at your mom's today?"

"No." Torch answered.

"No mom he wasn't there."

"Oh, then it was Boy #2 and girlfriend #2."

I turned my attention to Boy #2, he turned around and I was happy to see he still had both his eyebrows. "Did you go to Grandma's today?"

"No."

"No mom, nobody here was over."

"Well then who put my toilet seat up?"

Uhhhhhhhh..............................

"I never put it up, somebody had to. Somebody was here."

It appears there is a toilet seat mystery over at my sister-in-laws and it was carrying over 7 miles away to our house. We need to solve this pronto, Survivor, Survivor Nicaragua, still on pause. Damn.

I heard a discussion going on in the background and listened intently, well as intently as I could with a blow torch flailing in our laundry room.

With the husband and Boy #2 off the hook the only other possibility was...............the great grandson, the 4 year old. The 4 year peed in grandma's toilet and didn't put the seat down.

"Are you watching that blow torch?"

"Yes, I'm watching the blow torch."

"It's just that you almost torched me twice."

"Go watch your show."

I mentioned on FaceBook last weekend that I would rather stick a fork in my eye than be involved in a home improvement project. That hasn't changed.