From the Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dude files, #1675 section B

Friday, November 26, 2010:

"I'm out of shiiiiirrrrts!" the husband exclaimed.

Eff

"There are none in the closet."

"I'll run to the Scary Asian Dry Cleaners and get your shirts."

"Have you seen your hair?"

I was willing to run to the Scary Asian Dry Cleaners after just emerging from the shower, that's how much I love him.

"Okay, don't panic, we still have time. I'll run this shirt through a rinse cycle with fabric softener, throw it in the dryer and iron it. No problem."

I was just that simple and off to work he went.

I dried my hair, slapped some make-up on my face and drove to my constant source of blogging fodder.

The Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dude reminds me of a Vietnam prison guard in a Chuck Norris movie, that's where he got his nickname. He has a Vietnam prison guard in a Chuck Norris movie grin, it's unsettling. I didn't see him when I walked in, that meant he was lurking in the back of the store with those hot shirt presses. Shivers went up my spine. She was there. Always smiling. Our conversations are kept to a minimum.

"Hello."

"Hi." Sometime I say Hi and sometimes Hello, I try to mix it up a bit, this time I said Hi.

"Four more shirt?"

"Yes."

"Seven ah twenty. Have nice day."

"Thank you."

And that's it, week after week. I'm sure she has a larger English vocabulary, but I haven't delved into it. I don't want to be misunderstood, what with the Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dude lurking in the back and all.

You can imagine my surprise when she asked if I had a nice Thanksgiving. I was dumb-struck. Holy Crap what do I say?

"It was good, how about yours?" Right then I realized, Asian - Thanksgiving, I don't think so, whoops.

She responded, "We ah went Casino."

See, yet another reason Ohio needs Casino's. We have to keep those senior citizens and their social security checks here. And we have to keep the dry cleaners from crossing state lines with there hard earned American dollah.

In my world it's Friday

"What's for dinner?"

"It's so cute that you think I'm going to cook today."

"Huh?"

"Here's how it works, this is a three day week and a four day weekend. So Monday when we woke up, it was like it was Wednesday, then Tuesday was like Thursday. You see where we're going with this?"

"I'm guessing you think it's Friday today and you don't cook on Friday's, ever. I'm calling for pizza?"

"There you go. In my world it's Friday."

I opened the refrigerator, "See that big turkey thawing in there? I'm spending the entire day with it tomorrow. I have to get up early and shove stuffing up it's ass, get it in the oven and make the rest of the Thanksgiving fixin's. There will be drinking and swearing by late afternoon. I won't know what day it is tomorrow."

"I'm going to call for pizza now."

"You know I think that would be best."

_________________________________________

Some bloggers have been posting lists on what they are thankful for. I can't sit and look at a blank piece of paper and come up with list just like that, after all right now I think it's Friday. So I wrote a few things down during the day:

1. My Family - If I don't put them on the list they will bitch and moan, so I'm getting them out of the way first.

2. Mocha - That delicious hot liquid I drink every morning. I've been adding caramel to it.

3. Ready made pie crust.

4. I'm not traveling. I don't have to make the choice of being felt up by a stranger wearing blue rubber gloves or be scanned and end up on an internet porn site.

5. A four day weekend. Someone please let me know when it's Sunday so I remember to go to work Monday.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"The hell? Snow?" This is mildly annoying.

Thanksgiving Day the husband and I ran around from destination to destination in sweatshirts and this morning snow, ground covering snow. Damn. Why didn't I have a winter jacket on when we set out on our Thankgsiving Day? And when I say destination to destination, I don't mean schlepping from house to house with three kids in tow, eating dinner after dinner, we've been there, done that. I mean:
Handing the crock pot full of mashed potato's to the husband, I announce, "We have to stop at the store on the way to your sisters for maxi-pads."
He made a sound that I am unable to spell and said, "Can't you just....."
"I can't just do anything. We have to stop on this day of Thanksgiving, the day we say thanks for all of life's many blessing and stop for maxi-pads."
We have a short stare-down, "I guess we could pick up some pop, I guess."
"Yes, that's a good idea."
He's come such a long way over the years, maxi-pad talk use to scare him, now he's just mildly annoyed.

We live in Northeast Ohio, so at anytime of the year snow doesn't surprise me, it's just usually cold when the snow falls. Maybe I'm having hot flashes.

Turkeys in the parking lot

Being so close to Thanksgiving you'd think turkeys would keep a low profile, you know, hide in the woods, cowering in fear. So you can imagine my surprise to see five of them boldly, taking a stroll across the parking lot at work yesterday morning. At first I thought it was a bunch of geese, we have geese and goose poop everywhere by the office, they are a common occurrence. But I did a double take, "Huh? Turkeys in the parking lot? What kind of crazy messed up day is this going to be?"
I had to share the freakiness with my co-workers. If my day was going to start off with turkeys walking through the parking lot, so was theirs. We watched through the office windows as the turkeys made their way around the building, moving from office to office picking up a new member of the turkey watching procession as we went along. The turkeys picked the newest car in the parking lot to jump on. Seriously, one jumped up on the hood and another the roof, the car still had temporary tags on it. It was clear by then we were under attack. Something had to be done.
"Keep an eye on them, I'm getting my camera."
"We can't stop them you know, they're pissed about something, you better hurry."
"Make sure you get one of the vans in the picture with our logo, we can get this in the company newsletter."
"I'm slightly worried about my car."
"I'm sure it's fine."
The turkeys made their way towards the woods and we haven't seen them since, perhaps they were making some kind of Thanksgiving statement, we'll never be sure though. You never know what turkeys are thinking.

But It Was Not This Year

I held my ground. I was prepared to hold out until the day before Thanksgiving for a dinner invitation. You could see the fear in my eyes at the thought of hosting a Thanksgiving dinner. The year may come that I will have to cook the feast but it was not this year. This year my dear sister-in-law came through again. I dined on turkey, mashed potato's and gravy, stuffing, sweet potato's, green jello, lima beans and pumpkin pie with cool whip. The year may come that all invitations come crashing down around me but it was not this year. This was the year all eight of us sat around card tables and ate like Kings. By all that I hold dear on this good earth, I thank you dear sister-in-law.

I should send her some flowers.

Oh and yes, I'm quite the geek. Lord of the Rings was on all weekend.

Successful Turkey Day!

Thanksgiving dinner was a huge success! I ate my fill and then some. Man I love turkey and mashed potatoes. There was no room for dessert but I ate it anyway. I managed to woof down some chocolate cheese cake and planned on pumpkin pie but never was able to do it. I had a apple dumpling wrapped up to take home and forgot it. Damn! I was planning on eating it last night when we got home, in front of the crackling fire. The husband had a fire going, the dog was laying in front of it, we were in our recliners watching TV, we looked like a Christmas card.

Whenever I say crackling, I think of Neil Diamonds song Crackling Rose and the song gets stuck in my head for days or until the next fire in the fireplace. I don't know many of the words to the song so the same ones go over and over in my head, sometimes I can be really annoying.

One Mustn't Screw with Thanksgiving Dinner

My assignment for this year's Thanksgiving dinner are the mashed potatoes. I got the nod again this year. The in-laws must have been impressed with last years contribution.
I went to the store this morning for the potatoes and then stopped for a mocha. Got back home around noon, the dog slobbered on me and I went to wash my hands. There was no water coming out of my faucet. So that's what those men up the street, that I so carefully avoided hitting with my car, were doing. Turning off the communities water the day before Thanksgiving, the most important dinner of the year. I could hear a collective scream of frustration throughout the neighborhood.
About an hour later it came back on. One mustn't screw with Thanksgiving dinner. The thought of Thanksgiving dinner without mashed potatoes is devastating. The thought of Thanksgiving dinner without mashed potatoes being your fault, a fate worse than death. I filled my boiling pot with water, more than I'll need. Those potatoes will be made tomorrow come hell or high water.

Thanksgiving Dinner, the Best Smell in the World

The dog and I had our morning walk, we took the winter route. Right now in Northeast Ohio it's unseasonably warm so doors and window are open and someone is cooking up a storm, spreading the heavenly scent of Thanksgiving throughout the neighborhood a day early. Boy did that smell good, I'm hungry for turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy. The thought of Thanksgiving dinner makes the yogurt I'm eating right now all the more unsatisfying.

Did I mention I don't have to cook tomorrow, I think I did. My niece is having the Thanksgiving dinner this year, she will be surrounded by Thanksgiving dinner experts so I won't have to worry about the turkey turning out like the one on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

I Have Time to Work on My Blog

I added a Digg It button on both of my blogs. If anybody is reading this post will you "Digg It" one of my post so I can see if it's working? The next thing I have planned for this blog is the background and I should get to it soon. Why do I have the time? Because I have again, got out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I have been patting myself on the back all week. I absolutely love Thanksgiving dinner as long as I'm not cooking it. My niece is doing it this year and all I have to make are the mashed potatoes. I might have to get up at 9:00 am, but I think I can manage that.

Shopping in my Slippers

I met my friend from grade school for dinner last week and I asked her when she was going to be back in town. She says to me Thanksgiving, she’ll be here the whole weekend because her sister and she always go shopping the day after Thanksgiving, also known as Black Friday. They have it all planned, getting up at 4:00 am, going to breakfast. I tried not to look at her like she was one brick short of a load. I’ll probably sleep in that morning. But that’s just me. I have thanksgiving ads being emailed to me. When my coffee is done brewing, I’ll shuffle over to my computer in my big fluffy slippers and shop. I’m guessing it will probably be around 10:00 am. I always start with the little ones on my list. They aren’t as picky as the older kids. I can easily get the great nieces and nephews done at one sitting at ToysRUs. Before my second cup of coffee. I didn’t tell my dear friend this because she has done this Black Friday shopping thing for years and she looked really excited about it. There aren’t very many things that would get me up at 4:00 am. I can think of one or two, a crying baby back a few years or to go to the bathroom. But never to go shopping.

The Day After Thanksgiving

They are calling the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday now? I never go shopping on that day. And if they are calling it Black Friday, it’s worse than I thought. I hate crowds. That’s why, as I’ve said in previous posts, I’m doing as much of my holiday shopping on line as possible. While searching the net I found a site called Black-Friday.net. Hah! Check it out, here is an ad for Kohl’s. All you do is submit your email address and they notify you when new Black Friday ads are posted. Here is a store list. There are quite a few stores.

Imagine doing your holiday shopping with a cup of coffee in your hand, sitting in front of your computer, listening to whatever music you like. As opposed to grabbing a lousy cup of coffee at the food court and not being able to take it in any stores, standing in line with a bunch of short tempered shoppers and listening to piped in holiday music.

Here’s the Circuit City ad. Lot of bargains! Black-Friday.net is making it too easy for us. What will we do with all are spare time after we get are shopping done? I suppose, baking, wrapping, sending out cards, cleaning the house……… Oh boy! Here come the holidays!