Friday, May 29, 2009

The Conversation with my Bladder, my Brain and my Stomach

My Brain: This is the second detour we've encountered on our way home, do you really think we have time to stop at Subway? Boy #3 has to be at work in an hour.

My Stomach: All you've dropped down here today was a Big Texas Cinnamon Roll and yogurt. Stop at Subway.

My Bladder: Don't forget the 24 oz. Mocha, the bottle of water and the Pepsi. I don't know how much more I can hold, clearly I'm your biggest problem right now.

My Brain: It's a no brainer, pardon the pun, we must go straight home and directly to the bathroom. You can make a sandwich just as well, if not better, than a Subway employee.

My Stomach: I don't believe what I'm hearing, I'm so hungry I could eat the ass of a skunk. Cross your legs and feed me.

My Bladder: Wal-Mart has a Subway inside and a bathroom, THIS is a no brainer, duh.

My Brain: The boy! The boy!

Me: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Let me think.

My Brain: Let me do that for you, you might hurt yourself. It is what I'm here for you know.


Skye said...

ROFL!!! I've had that conversation too, only not with the part of needing to get someone to work. With me it was needing to be at home before the kid got there after school!

I hope brain, stomach and bladder were all satisfied without any undo repercussions :D

ReformingGeek said...

Yikes! You poor thing. So there is a good use for Wal-mart afterfall.

DouglasDyer said...

I believe you know what body part men do all their thinking with. It is sooo much easier than all that noisy arguing. And far less likely to entertain using the ass of a skunk. Probably.

Nooter said...

ha ha, oh i bet if you go into subway and ask for 'ass of skunk' sandwich theyll ask what toppings would you like on that?

Anonymous said...

So who won? Let us know the results in your next hilarious post. :)

Candice said...

Awesome post!

I love skunk ass.

Ora - Looking for Offramp said...

Sounds so familiar, and there are almost no decent pit stops between work and home. 45 minutes of mind over bladder.

Relax Max said...

Listen to your bladder. The others will wait. :)

Sue said...

Skye - The kids always win, it's not fair.

ReformingGeek - WalMart has everything.

Doug - You're so bad.

Nooter - Probably the one in WalMart would have it.

UR - The brain always wins, because of those kids.

Candice - Deep fried!

Ora - I swear at my bladder all the time.

Relax Max - Maybe I should buy some Depends, like that astronaut chick.