Saturday, May 23, 2009

Uterus For Sale

For Sale: one used uterus, has carried 3 children, 1 large, 2 medium, has been stretched beyond legal limits but rebounded nicely, comes with a free bottle of Midol.

I'm so over this uterus. The directions on the Midol bottle say not to exceed 8 caplets in a 24 hour period and I say if you're going to limit me then put some kind of narcotic in it or let me mix it with alcohol.
It's served it purpose and usefulness and I'm ready to move on, part ways. Every month or so it feels like it's going to fall out, so when it does I'm putting it on Craig's List. I'd put it on eBay but they frown upon selling body parts.


ReformingGeek said...

Throw in a fibroid and an ovarian cyst and increase the price!

Sue said...

ReformingGeek - That's just crazy enough to work!

nipsy said...

Ha! When you send yours in, I'll even toss mine in for free. Same stats even.. Damn things are useless other than turning me into evil woman once a month. Pffttt Midol doesn't even touch me, I think I've scared it.

Candice said...

That's a good idea. I'm going to sell my boobs that defy gravity, or wait, maybe they don't, on Craigs List.

I'm sure some freak would want them.

Sue said...

nipsy - Wouldn't it be great if we could just toss them?

Candice - I'll trade you my uterus for your boobs.