Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Mr. New Dad

Mr. New Dad sat next to me in church quite a few years ago. All my precious little darlings were safely tucked in their Sunday School classes. This was a time I cherished, a time I was alone, free to daydream, listen to the sermon or doodle on the church program. I can't remember what activity I chose that day but it was great because I got to sit by Mr. New Dad and his infant son. Don't know where mom was perhaps stuck teaching a Sunday School class to one of my kids.
Mr. New Dad had the baby in his arms and the diaper bag at his feet. About 10 minutes in the baby started to babble, just a little so a bottle was promptly stuck in his mouth. It was an eight ouncer, filled to the top. As Mr. New Dad continued to feed the baby, who was maybe 5 or 6 months old. I wondered to myself, "Huh. When is he going to burp that kid? Huh." As the liquid continued to be consumed I realized, never?
Now there is a lot of standing and sitting in church, each time we stood, I sat back down a little further away from the inevitable, it was just a matter of time before the kid blew. With any luck I'd be in the next pew by then. I glanced around to see if anyone else was on to impending spew. Daydreamers and doodlers, nobody paying attention to the cute baby with the expanding stomach.
I could have said something, but in 5 or 6 months you'd think Mr. New Dad knew this stuff, I just figured any minute now he'll burp the baby. But he waited until the bottle was empty. It was interesting to watch which poor sap was going to get their Sunday best barfed on, kind of like Russian Roulette. Mr. New Dad decided to go with the over the shoulder burp only it was a very juicy 8 ounce burp, right on to the shoes of the guy sitting behind us. I felt bad to because he was one of the church goers that was actually listening to the sermon.


I must give credit where credit is due. The inspiration for this post, Boondock Ramblings:
Hmmmm..maybe we'll just find a new church. This woman actually takes her child into church, it's madness I tell you!


ReformingGeek said...

That's funny. What a mess, though!

Anonymous said...

Ewwww. That's so gross. I'll have to thank my sister for her inspiration. At least, it wasn't a poop story. She tells enough of those over at her blog.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Thanks for the link. I am mad, aren't I? Yes, revel in my idiocy. Hey, it's great blog fodder when you're dumb. Don't ya' know?

Yeah, dads. Duh.

Hubby used to just dash from the sanctuary the moment our son coughed, cooed, or breathed too hard. Hubby doesn't like attention...even good attention...on him, so let that baby make even a little sound and he was out of there.

Also, for the record, my kid won't stay in nursery or anywhere else. I am sure I will have post on this eventually.

Sue said...

ReformingGeek - Yeah, it was a mess, but funny because I was out of spewing distance.

UR - I've only blogged about dog poop, I've stayed away from human. Your sister is very brave.

Jonny's Mommy - YOur welcome for the link and thank you for jogging my memory. I wish there were blogs back when I was having all these kids, you are going to have a wonderful gift for your little boy when he's older!