Monday, March 02, 2009

Where's Her Penis?

I know, I laughed too when I first heard Boy #2 say that. Actually he demanded to know as he peered over my friends shoulder. She was changing her daughters diaper and Boy #2 was there to, I don't know, offer assitance, he being just out of diapers himself and a little brother still in them I guess he thought my friend, a new mom, could use some help from an all knowing three year old. But when he leaned in for a look see, his jaw dropped to the ground. His eyes grew wide and darted around the the immediate area, frantically searching, "Where's her penis?" My friend gave me a helpless look.
Honestly, I was surprised Boy #2 was just finding this out, I thought his older brother would have told him by now. The kid knew more about the birds and the bees by the time he was ten than I did. An older brother with neighborhood friends brings information much sooner than necessary.
I hesitated when the question was asked and my friend, a pro-active, take charge kind of person, explained the difference between boys and girls to my son. She never let's me forget this.
The next day I decided I needed to be more responsive for my boys inquisitive little minds, so I sat them down and said, "All penis questions go to dad, he has one, I don't. If it's an emergency, I'll try to answer to the best of my ability, but the questions will be run by dad at a later time and date."


ReformingGeek said...

I'm impressed that he said penis and not wienie. ;-)

Jonny's Mommy said...

I was changing my son's diaper in front of three of my five nieces (all from the same family). Suddenly I realize they are all starring at my kid with huge eyes. Finally one of the girls speak: "Is that what he pees from?"

Totally forgot they only have sisters, no brothers, and this their first experience with a little boy. Oh well, I educated them, I guess.

Vicar Ezra said...

Dear Child of God:

I have been asked by the World Bloggers Association to stop by your blog and ask you, as the chaplain of that organization, to please tone down the smut on your posts. If you please.

Today we note the word "penis" being published in front of anyone who may happen by and read your blog. Also, and not to be overly picky with you, you used the term #2 several times in the same post. Just sayin'.

Is it really necessary to discuss the biological differences between boys and girls? Will they not discover that soon enough after they are married?

I know your heart is in the right place, but won't you consider blogging more about butterflies or the various breakfast cereal choices, or even more about how it snows so much in Ohio WalMart parking lots? (Lord, but THAT one set me back!)

Thank you in advance for your understanding and willingness to see the right in this blogging thing.

vicar Ezra Likely

PS - I do want to congratulate you on the use of word verification on your blog in order to keep out most of the sinners. Bless you my child.

Anonymous said...

Kids are a never ending source of humor-- as well as other stuff. ;)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Indoor and Outdoor Plumbing.

That's the difference according to my 7th grade Home Ec teacher.

Kirsten said...

I like the "ask dad" approach. I think I'm gonna steal that. I'm too immature to deal with penis questions. hehe

Anonymous said...

I should have known my sister (Jonny's Mommy/Boondock Ramblings) would tell that story if she got here. I was thinking of it myself, but since it's her son, I guess it's okay that she owns the copyright to the story. ;)

erv said...


Don't listen to that dumbass Ezra Vicars. keep up the good work.

Sue said...

Reforming Geek - Penis is the term I taught him, later after his brother got to him, wienie was one of the terms he use regularly.

Jonny's Mommy - "Is that what he pees from?" LOL! Carry on with your educating!

My dear Vicar Ezra - Please pass my apologies along to the World Bloggers Association. I had a momentary lapse in judgment due to my delirium as I suffered with the flu this past weekend. I can assure you there will be more WalMart parking lot posting to come.

papercages - It's why I had kids, just to further along my blogging career.

Prefers her fantasy life - Home Ec teachers have a way of simplifing life, don't they?

Kirsten - It's only logical to have someone with a penis to answer penis questions, what the hell do we know about them?

UR - I didn't make the Jonny's Mommy/Boondock Ramblings connections. Now that I know who she is I have to get to her blog and start commenting, she's comments here all the time. Thank you Jonny's mommy!

erv - Thank you for the support!

Karen said...

Ezra Vicars needs to know that children are better off to know the true words for body parts.

Is that a real association???

I love that you told them all penis questions go to dad. LOL

Mike said...

say Son, that's a vagina.

In twenty years one of those will own you.

He'll understand in 20 years.

Jenn Thorson said...

Heh, it's important to do the sort of damage control that you can on those topics. I think you did a nice job on deflection there.

Sue said...

Karen - Dad has a better knowledge on such things. LOL!

Mike - This was a story from back in the day, Boy #2 is now 19 and does his girlfriends laundry........ hmmmmm I wonder why!

Jenn Thorson - Thank you!

Skye said...

ROFLMAO! Oh this reminds me of when my first born was 1.5 years old. She went into the bathroom while her dad was having a shower and came across the male anatomy for the first time. She grabbed his penis, looked up, and asked "Is this a toy to swing on, Daddy?" He yelled for me to get my daughter out of the shower and explain body parts to her.

I can't begin to explain the horror in his voice, but I can tell you that I peed myself I laughed so hard!

Later when her little brother was born, she watched me changing his diaper and said "Daddy has one of those too, but that's for peeing, not swinging!"