Planning My Escape
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" The husband asks me this during our wild Friday night ritual of sitting on the his and her recliners and seeing who can stay awake the latest.
"I'm staying home until I have to take Boy #3 to work, then I'll grocery shop. What are you doing?"
"Oh I thought I'd work on the house."
When the husband gets up in the morning and puts his painter/work pants on, the rest of the family scatters, like frightened mice. Boy #2 has already made the escape. I woke him up this morning and told him, "Dad's working on the house." He bolted out of bed, stumbled and tried to shake the deep sleep from his head.
"You don't want to be late to work, right? You better get going."
He grabbed his wallet and keys and looked back at me, "But....."
"Go without me, I have to go try to save the other one."
Mother's Day is coming up and this one has a better job than Boy #3, so I saved him first.
When the husband is in "Home Improvement mode" he can never find anything, because after the last "Home Improvement mode" he never put anything away in the same spot he found them from the last time he was in "Home Improvement mode". See the vicious cycle. He has crap everywhere and it messes with his creative Home Improvement abilities if he has to stop what he's doing and look for a screw driver. That's where his family of gophers comes in. So far this morning I've had to "go fer" a Philips head screw driver, a plastic garbage bag and I've had to turn a light switch on 5 different times. Yes, he's messing with the electricicals. Which makes my leaving all the more difficult, I'll feel bad if he electrocutes himself. The dog can perform CPR but she can't dial 911 and I plan on being gone all day if I can get out.
"I'm staying home until I have to take Boy #3 to work, then I'll grocery shop. What are you doing?"
"Oh I thought I'd work on the house."
When the husband gets up in the morning and puts his painter/work pants on, the rest of the family scatters, like frightened mice. Boy #2 has already made the escape. I woke him up this morning and told him, "Dad's working on the house." He bolted out of bed, stumbled and tried to shake the deep sleep from his head.
"You don't want to be late to work, right? You better get going."
He grabbed his wallet and keys and looked back at me, "But....."
"Go without me, I have to go try to save the other one."
Mother's Day is coming up and this one has a better job than Boy #3, so I saved him first.
When the husband is in "Home Improvement mode" he can never find anything, because after the last "Home Improvement mode" he never put anything away in the same spot he found them from the last time he was in "Home Improvement mode". See the vicious cycle. He has crap everywhere and it messes with his creative Home Improvement abilities if he has to stop what he's doing and look for a screw driver. That's where his family of gophers comes in. So far this morning I've had to "go fer" a Philips head screw driver, a plastic garbage bag and I've had to turn a light switch on 5 different times. Yes, he's messing with the electricicals. Which makes my leaving all the more difficult, I'll feel bad if he electrocutes himself. The dog can perform CPR but she can't dial 911 and I plan on being gone all day if I can get out.
3 comments:
Just go quickly. Don't look back.
Yeah. Sometimes I want to run away screaming when Hubby's working....er..cursing thru a project.
I told Hubby no more projects until the unorganized mess of the garage has been cleaned and re-organized. He got a bigger, better tool box out of it so there was some incentive to do the cleaning project.
I'm usually a gopher but when he asks for some specialty tool and has to describe it in detail, I usually can't find it and he has to go get it himself. Oh well.
This sounds like my dad. We always run when he starts working on something. One never knows when the house might burn down or you might have to .. like you said...flip a switch a few thousand times.
Good idea on saving the kid with the better job. more money, better gift right? But...this is a male child right? Still might not matter.
My dad bought my mom a pack of screwdrivers for Mother's Day one year.
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