Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Turd Grabbers

During my recent Mrs. Kravitz moment as I watched my neighbors teaching their little boy how to ride a bike, I couldn't help but notice at least five people going by the house walking their dogs. I've been known to stare out my window for long periods of time. It's part of my fat ass problem.
The dog walkers all strolled past at various times and in various shapes and sizes, but all with one thing in common, a filled poop bag. The way they all confidently walked past my house you could tell they were skilled, seasoned dog walkers. They have a certain air about them as they saunter by with a leash in one hand and swinging a bag of poop in the other. For those of you that do not have a dog to walk, let me explain to you how the poop gets in the bag.
It's somewhat of an art form. Since a dog will crap just about anywhere, owners must always be on the ready for turd removal. They take their plastic bag and stick their hand in it. Grab the turds with just that thin layer of plastic between their hand and the doo doo. With a single motion they will swoop those turds into the bag, turning it inside out and tie a knot in the bag, securing the turds and smell neatly in the bag of their choice, continuing merrily on their way in less than a minute.
They are an elite group of turd grabbers, for this is not an easy task. Getting it all in one felt swoop requires skill. Not dropping a single turd requires concentration and patience. So when you see a turd grabber walking down the street, give them a nod of encouragement, they have skills beyond ours, they are good at what they do and they are keeping the community poop free.


BillyWarhol said...

oh Lordy!!

Soooooooooo True!!

I always wondered How they did it too til an ex gf got a Beagle!!


aniceplaceinthesun.blogspot.com said...

I cannot stop laughing long enough to leave a comment~ Sorry~ :)))))


A Nice Place In The Sun

P.S. All of us are born with some talent~ :)

Suzanne said...

I just don't want these talented people to go un-noticed!

Anonymous said...

Could this become an Olympic event do you think? marks,for presentation,Style,speed.Can you imagine the action replay from all angles? YUK!

Anonymous said...

Thank DOG they do do it! It's the ones who don't pick up after their dog that need to be shot.

And, yes, Janice -- there definitely should be a competition for it. At some of our dog shows, they even have contests for the most poo turned in :P

We dog people are so into poo. It would be disgusting if we weren't certifiably crazy.


Anonymous said...

Initially I thought you were going to say that they can catch it *in* the bag as the dog squats. And I thought, 'Wow, now that really is a talent.'

Regardless, this is just another reason why I'll never own a dog. I can't deal with the thin plastic layer between my hand and a dog's dump.

Babs (Beetle) said...

I saw one the other day. It was not a very firm poo! One swift movement, it was not!

One of the reasons I won't have another dog.

Suzanne said...

Janice, an Olympic event? Of course! If Curling is an Olympic sport, why not turd grabbing?

We will definitely have to sign Margaret up for that.

Suzanne said...

Cardiogirl, catching it "in" the bag would be worth the price of admission.

Hey Babs, the one you saw the other day can not be classified in the turd category.