Tuesday, August 23, 2011

An idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction

I do believe I'm getting an early jump on:

Cabin fever it is an idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow). Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, paranoia, irrational frustration with everyday objects, forgetfulness, laughter, excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with and an urge to go outside even in the rain, snow or dark. The phrase is also used humorously to indicate simple boredom from being home alone.

Although I display none of the symptoms above I feel them coming on earlier than usual. Oh and I'm starting to talk to myself.

They took my car away or I'd shop. Something to do with gas spewing out of Boy #3's car. Isn't that funny how all of a sudden his car becomes inoperable once I become unemployed? And I can't seem to find my shoes. Something is going on around here and I don't like it. Maybe I should take a nap, I don't think I've had my nap today.

Being a freelance writer is hard work, all you do is write. I write all day, except for when I'm dehydrating bananas. You know for the Zombie Apocalypse? You have to travel light remember. See my last post if you don't know what I'm talking about. It's the next post down, you're not getting a link just scroll. The problem with these dehydrated bananas is that they are really good. I'm eating them as fast as I make them. I'm going to have to start making them everyday. But I don't have a car. Gah.

What day is it?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.

Finally I got to watch Zombieland. This is kind of, sort of a movie review and has no business being on the is blog. But only 2 people read this one, so I'm thinking even less read View of Sue, I haven't posted there since May.
But I have an unhealthy fixation on Zombies and feel compelled to warn the world or the 2 people that read my blog, of impending doom.
Since I don't believe in coincidences, my frightful weekly trip to WalMart has lead me to the realization that we haven't much time. Learn these rules and know them well:
  1. Cardio
  2. Double tap
  3. Beware of bathrooms
  4. Wear seatbelts
  5. Cast iron skillet
  6. Travel light
  7. Get a kickass partner
  8. Bounty paper towels
  9. Bowling Ball
  10. Don't be a hero
  11. Limber up
  12. Avoid strip clubs
  13. When in doubt, know your way out
  14. The buddy system
  15. Check the back seat
  16. Enjoy the little things
I do know how to count to 10, this is a list from a Zombieland website. The character, Columbus has a list of zombie survival rules he came up with that helped him survive the zombie apocalypse hence becoming one of the very few survivors in America. Not all rules were mentioned, these are the ones that were.
Woody Harrelson plays Tallahassee and this is where I got spooked. Tallahassee is in search of a Twinkie, throughout the whole movie he's looking for the last Twinkie in America. The rest of the world is just not mentioned in this movie. They are either going through their own zombie apocalypse, continent by continent or the good ol' U.S. of A is on their own as usual.
Let's get back to the Twinkie. I finally get these boys of mine to watch Zombieland with me after we got rid of the husband for the night. He had to work late but refuses to watch Zombie movies, he's going to be the first to fall prey I fear. I thought it would be funny to buy a box of Twinkies while shopping today. Aisle after aisle I filled my shopping cart with the essentials, bread, milk, Pepsi, a head of lettuce, dog treats, Peach Daiquiri with alcohol in it that you just freeze and enjoy, cheese, hamburgers, and the list goes on for a weeks worth of food. All the while keeping an eye open for Twinkies. I doubled back and back again, "Where's the effing Twinkies?"
I've come to the conclusion that people are stock piling Twinkies,
coincidence, I think not.
This is Reminderville, Ohio saying good night.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The unmistakable sound of chaos ensuing in the kitchen

There is always a small sense if loss when you break a dish or a glass while you are in the kitchen doing said dishes. It's an "Oh damn it, now I have to clean up shards of glass" moment. And sometimes "Damn there goes the set" moment.

Close your eyes and picture, if you will, the very top shelf of dishes. Got it? Okay. I was unloading the dishwasher and I reached up to put a glass bowl away, everything on this particular shelf was glass, can you see where this is going?

One of the little dohickeys that holds up each corner of the shelf popped out sending the entire contents of the shelf careening down to my head, the counter top, inside of the dishwasher and then onto the floor.

"Oh damn it, now I have to clean up shards of glass."

Taking into the fact that I've had several small accidents this summer, I'm starting to fear for my life.

The unmistakable sound of chaos ensuing in the kitchen aroused the attention of the husband. He rushed in and took a bowl off my head, then paused. I don't know if he just didn't know where to start or was taking in the scene unable to comprehend what had happened. Once he saw my face I believe he regained control because he started throwing broken pieces in to a bag, fast. He was avoiding my inevitable reminiscing of the broken pieces. Because everyone knows that the top shelf holds objects of things not often used or the "good stuff." He was diffusing a situation, which he's very good at. He turned the conversation into that damn dohickey and where the hell was it?

I'm not certain of just how much I lost during the kitchen chaos. I suppose I'll find out when I go to reach for something up there and realize it's missing. Also I'm walking around barefoot today so I'm sure my next post will be that of how I stepped on a piece of glass I missed when I was cleaning up shards of glass.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Bringing funny back

I think I got it back. I emerged out of my hermit-like existence today, if only for an hour, but out of the house and away from my computers. Thank you Harry for the link, it helped more than you will know. Things drop in your lap when you need them, this I steadfastly live by because they are the gentle nudges towards your path in life.

Less than a week of being jobless and I expected the money to come pouring in, patients my precious. Yes, I've already begun to talk to myself, but just one extra voice in my head and I think that one has always been there anyway.

My joblessness is explained here on http://www.skirt.com/. FaceBook had a reminder on my wall to fill in my place of employment, so today I filled it in. Unpublished Freelance Writer and I made myself the President/CEO.

While I write I've also decided to get back into eBay, so anything that has dust on it around here is getting listed. I also have those T-Shirts I made but I'm having trouble with the link where you can vote for it. I'll be working on that. Ebay and the T-Shirts are on the left column of this blog.

My list of writing pieces is growing. The next one to write is, honest to God, hand on the bible, when I was ask for my ID at WalMart. I was innocently buying a sinfully delicious Peach Daiquiri frozen slush mix, which reminds me I have to go buy a case of them, and the young man ringing me up asked for my ID. And he was serious, really. I pretended to be hard of hearing so he had to say it again, louder.