Friday, September 23, 2011

I'm not an Alarmist but I am a Thinker

I am quite certain that by the time winter nears it's end, in Northeast Ohio that's April, I will be insane, but in a good way. Just remember I don't get out much and my posts lately are about me and the dog on our walks. So my imagination runs off on it's own at times and once I lose my grip on reality posts like this happen. I'm not apologizing, just warning you. Erv thinks I need to seek professional help.
I know what they're up to but I just don't know why. Obviously they are blocking off all our exits. "They" being the florescent yellow shirted "construction" workers and "our" being us, the community, the unsuspecting people of our development. Construction is in full force in our development. There are only two exits/entrances in and out of here. The dog and I have noticed an over abundance of detour signs the last few months. It has our spidey senses up a couple notches:
1. I think "they" are trying to confuse us with all the detours, one day the road closed sign is here the next it's there. Has no one noticed the hoops we are jumping through?
B. It's only a matter of time before they block both exits and feign ignorance. Then the florescent yellow shirts get switch with hazmat suits and were sitting ducks.
This means we will have to get out of here on foot and I'm not ready to shed my flip flop wearing days yet. I don't have a pair of hiking boots to wear when we head for the hills. I suppose I'll have to go doomsday shopping this weekend if there's still time.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

From the Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dude Files #6,152

I don't know where the hell he is, I don't know. The last two times I've stopped in for the husbands 4 shirt Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dude hasn't been there and to make things worse she hasn't either. There have been different Asians in there each time. I blame the husband. He's decided to go with polo shirts this summer and I don't think he's going to make the transition back to dress shirts for the winter. He seems quite comfortable. So he's wearing a dress shirt once, maybe twice a week. Cutting down my visits to the Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dudes to barely two times a month.
With the huge language barrier I can't ask the "other Asians" WTF? Where are .......? I don't know their names. It's a dilemma, a worrisome dilemma. This could be the final chapter in the Scary Asian Dry Cleaning Dude Files. They are a constant source of blog fodder. I can walk into that Dry Cleaning establishment and walk out with an instant post. If my beloved, nameless dry cleaners are gone for good these new people better have something weird going on.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Next post, who the hell knows

There were a string of unfortunate circumstances that lead to the dog not getting her morning walk four days in a row. Which led to her unruly walk this morning. She doesn't understand "people problems" nor does she care to, it's all about her you know.
So I was ever so gently coaxed out of bed by the princess a half hour earlier than I would have liked. Actually I would have liked to get out of bed long enough to blow my nose, take a Tylenol Severe Sinus Pressure Caplet and drift of into an antihistamine induced sleep for the rest of the morning. But that was not to be. I did tell the dog while pointing to the window about the rain but she was relentless.
I got dressed, grabbed my phone, umbrella and the dreaded poop bag. It wasn't going to be a long walk but was sure to be eventful. Juggling a dog with pent up in the house to long issues and an umbrella was going to be a rude awakening, add a bag of poop and that's when the party begins.
I suppose it's her little way of trying to drag me out of my world of worry. You can't help but laugh at yourself as you walk down the street in the rain with the dog dragging you to an unknown destination, trying not to injure yourself with your umbrella as you take care of what she obviously has been saving up for me.
Next post, who the hell knows.

Friday, September 09, 2011

She's a known squirrel killer

The problem is the dog isn't a big fan of frolicking creatures that nature brings us to brighten our days. With the temperature cooling to the degree of "let's open the windows" Fahrenheit, we let the breeze and the crickets lull us to sleep. And in the morning we hear the birds chirping bringing us out of our slumber. It really is a sunshine and lollipops kind of atmosphere and adds a peaceful calm to the household.
But when a couple of geese decide to park themselves across the street from the house and squawk at irregular intervals, mayhem ensues. Since the dog is a known squirrel killer, she has an overwhelming sense of power when it comes to her turf. Her turf is basically the street we live on, if anyone dares walk their dog past our house she will let them know in no uncertain terms that they are intruding. She also has a white hot hate for skateboarders.

Wild animals really piss her off. They wander the neighborhood without boundries, she's jealous. So my morning and early afternoon consisted of squawks and barks, barks and squawks. The geese wouldn't leave until they were good and ready and now the dog is spent, sleeping it off on my bed, barely able to keep her eyes open. The know squirrel killer missed her mid-morning nap.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

The Winn Dixie or Bust

Being a born and bred Northeast, Ohio native I can tell you that I am 92% sure that I have never visited a Winn Dixie. If I have, it was when I was young and on a family vacation. I may have been dragged in by my mother when we went south but in the recesses of my mind I cannot see a Winn Dixie in any corner of my brain. I may have blocked it out completely because when we were on a family vacation if I wasn't in the pool, I wasn't happy. I'm pretty sure I was a royal pain in the ass if we weren't swimming.
Our grown up vacation is getting closer, 5 weeks. We'll be in Florida to visit Boy #1 and Daughter-in-Law #1. Since the big trip is getting closer, plans are starting to form. I spoke with
Daughter-in-Law #1 two days ago and told her that our hotel has a little kitchenette. And before I could say "groceries" she began to sing the praises of The Winn Dixie. She's taking me there to stock up my hotel kitchenette because, according to Daughter-in-Law #1, it's awesome. I'm stoked. Five weeks away from vacation and I already have a place to go. I've also requested to have breakfast at an I-Hop. Again, whether it's early Alzheimer's or I've led quite a sheltered life, I've never been to an I-Hop. Years ago before Lewis Black became popular I saw him on Comedy Central talking about going to the International House of Pancakes and decided I needed to go.
Lewis Black - College Horse
Lewis BlackComediansStark Raving Black Videos

I hope this video works I couldn't find it on YouTube, I might have to just give you the link.
So to recap, I will be in Florida in five weeks visiting the Winn Dixie and an I-Hop and I hear there's a beach around there somewhere too.