Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Like Father, Like Son

Before we venture off Tuxedo shopping, I'm making dinner. Boy #2 asked if the girlfriend could eat over. "Of course!" I said, "but we're having baked potatoes."
Blank stare.
"She doesn't like baked potatoes honey."
"She doesn't? How do you know?"
"Oh I don't know, I could have got the information off of My Space or maybe I actually listen to her when she talks to me."

This conversation with the "chip off the ol' block" had me reminiscing back in the day when this sort of thing would have bothered me. I was pregnant with Boy #1 and we were applying for life insurance. The husband gave our insurance agent all our information and the insurance agent called me to verify my social security number. He then asked, "Can I ask you, are you really 5'10" and 105 pounds?"
"Wow, the mental picture you must have of me. I'm 5'6" and seven months pregnant."
"Nuff said. Thank you very much for your time."

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Prom 2008

Tomorrow Boy #2, the girlfriend, the checkbook and I go shopping for a Prom Tuxedo. I'm more than a little concerned because Boy #2 said, "I got to look good mom." You see they have been voted "cutest couple" by the rest of their class.
Pray for me.......
And my checkbook.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ice Cream Truck Traffic

How many Ice Cream Trucks does a development need? I've counted three meandering through our neighborhood already and it's only April. They all have a different jingle. I get one jingle unstuck in my head and another one comes around the corner. I heard two jingles going at the same time, looked out the window and saw an Ice Cream Truck parade. Does this mean my development looks like we have money? Does the number of Ice Cream Trucks strolling through ones neighborhood determine ones affluence? We must be rich!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Stories in my Head

Saturday, April 19, 2008 in Northeast Ohio, it's a balmy 78 degrees and I stopped for a piping hot, 24 oz., mocha cappuccino. Because I have no self control over the whole mocha cappuccino at every corner situation. Also when you stop at these gas station/convenience stores, you run into all kinds of people and I can usually make up a story in my head about one or two of them.
Take the man parked next to me. Either I watch to much TV or I need to get a life, but I'm pretty sure he was packing up his canvas bags with provisions for an all night stake out or he had something in his trunk he had to bury and didn't want to stop until he got to the secluded forest he was driving to. Either way, I avoided eye contact with him just to be safe.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Bra Issues

I'm just gonna go ahead and address my bra issues today. One of my least favorite things to do in the world is to go bra shopping. Not being very blessed in that region makes the whole experience somewhat depressing. One of my mother's most favorite things to do in the world is to go bra shopping, particularly for me. She is on a quest to find me the right fit. Needless to say I have a drawer full of uncomfortable bra's, because I bought them to stop my mother from holding different cup sizes up to my chest, in public.
The new job requires that I dress better than my usual jeans, t-shirt and slippers. All week I've been tugging at my bra's, with each tug realizing what had to be done. I ventured off bra shopping without telling my mother. They put the clearance racks deep within the lingerie section of Kohl's, that's where I started. I was able to find five assorted bra's within my price range and unmentionable size. Although they were all wildly colorful, I found one that fit. The brand is called "It Fits", thank you so much pal, preciate that.
I found another black with red pin-striped "It Fits" bra and bought them both. I wore one today and boy was I comfortable. I found the right fit. Now do I tell mom or keep this traitorous act of mine a secret?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Mom Knows Everything

I don’t have to shop for a Blackhawk Holster anymore. Boy #2 has decided against becoming a policeman. He’s back to being an electrician. Hopefully his mind is made up since he will be graduating in six weeks. I have one more kid to drag through high school. And when I say drag, I mean drag. What a chore it is to get them to focus on attaining a diploma. Eventually they will realize that mom knows everything, it’s just too bad they wait until they are out of school to do so!

Money Out The Wazoo!

One more week I have to find a new source of weirdo blogging material. I gave notice for my night job. I'm just not as young as I use to be and really how much money do I need to make? I'll have money coming out the wazoo once I get Boy #1 married off, Boy #2 graduated and Boy #3 behind the wheel. So you see this summer will be a breeze.
As of today I haven't had a comment on my Cat Owning Guidelines Post. So I think it's a combination of my traffic suffering because of the previously mentioned jobs and the cat people are ignoring me.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Celebrate Mom For Who She Is

You know how when you were a teenager and your mom said to you, “I hope when you have kids they act just like you?” It’s a curse they put on us and it works. I’ve done it myself. I’m not sure how or if it can be undone. But every Mother’s Day I tell my mom how sorry I am for those teenage years, it’s kind of like an annual gift from me to her. She grins at me and I patiently wait to see if the curse will magically be undone. When my boys do something stupid I know it has not been lifted. I haven’t scored enough points with her to undo the drama of my “I know everything” years. is running a Celebrate Mom For Who She Is Contest, perhaps I can score some big time points by winning her some prizes, you know bribe her. You have to write a touching story about your mom. I remember in the sixth grade, before I was a teenager, I was trying out for cheer-leading. Try outs got to the part where I had to do a cheer all by myself and I chickened out. My mom was in the parking lot waiting for me and I went running to her crying. She didn’t judge me and she “believed” me the next day when I said I was sick and couldn’t go to school. She let me stay home when I felt humiliated, built up my self esteem for a long weekend and then sent me off to school Monday.

Yep, I definitely need to enter that story and say, “Hey mom! Remember when I was cute?” Maybe I can break the curse and my children will magically make all the right decisions and think I’m right all the time.

Cat Owning Guidelines

My evening job brings the crazy general public to me in droves. It's a bloggers dream. Most people try to avoid lengthy conversations with weird strangers, I cherish them, not so much if they smell but if they are a couple bricks short of a load and want to tell me about their goldfish swimming around in their bathtub, I'm all ears. A recent conversation left me thinking, "Huh, I wonder how many cats she has?"
Then I started to wonder, "How many cats do you have to have to be considered a kookamonga?"
Taking it a step further I decided to make some cat owning guidelines. Not being a cat owner and really not much of a cat person I fully expect to offend a few cat people. But you have to realize most people do not look at a woman in a house full of cats as normal by any means.

Cat Owning Guidelines:
1 cat - This is perfectly normal, therapeutic and you probably have lots of friends.
2 cats - It is socially acceptable to have two cats.
3 cats - If you keep adding cats, your friends will stop coming over, you know that right?
4 cats - Acceptable if you live on a farm.
5 cats -
You have just entered the realm of the crazy cat people, literature will be arriving in the mail soon.
6 cats - Your house smells like a liter box and you now wear a housecoat.
7 cats - I think by the time you have seven cats you can be classified kookamonga, no I know it.
8 cats - Some would ask you to seek help, I on the other hand, would encourage a conversation so I would have something to blog about.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Monday Started Out Like Any Other Monday

Honest to God I don't know how it happened, but I have a job. You know, leaving the house in dress clothes and a lunch kind of a job. Monday morning I was schlepping around the house in my big fluffy slippers with my concocted, homemade mocha cappuccino and by Friday I had half a week of work in and sore feet. It's frowned upon in the office world to wear slippers.
Wednesday evening I was going through my closet looking for non-jeans. I guess I'll have to shop. There were clothes in there from about 10 years ago. My closet is a huge reason I haven't posted all week, I've been color co-ordinating. Thank God for "Casual Friday" because everything goes with jeans. I'm excited to be a part of a company that has a "Casual Friday" it's one of those things you hear about but never, ever come close to it. And I'm looking forward to my first "Water Cooler" conversation, as soon as I find the water cooler.