Saturday, August 20, 2016

The $5.00 swear jar

Text from Boy #2: Would you guys try really hard not to swear when we come over Sunday?
My text back: Did you swear in front of my grandson?
Boy #2: Yes.
Me: I'm on it.
I proceeded to inform the husband, Boy #1 and Boy #3 that there will be no swearing in the house from the minute my precious 2-1/2 year old grandbaby steps over our threshold to the minute he steps out. And we mulled it over for about half a day then reconvened to discuss our options.
I brought up practicing saying fudge, shoot and heck. Boy #1 said,
"I'm not saying fudge."
I responded,
"I have duct tape."
The husband came up with a brilliant plan,
"Let's make this interesting. We all put $5.00 in and whoever doesn't swear gets the $20.00."
We all agreed.
Sunday rolls around and we tell Boy #2 and Daughter-in-Law #2 about our plan and the money riding on it. This proved later to be a huge mistake. Because Boy #2 is the master of mayhem and has a level of high jinx most of us can only dream of. Long story short, he baited us. Boy #1 was out within the first hour. The husband lasted two hours. It was down to Boy #3 and me. Boy #3 has always chosen his words wisely. He guards them with care being the youngest of three boys, he learned at a young age to be careful what he said or he would be made fun of, mercilessly.
The day turned to early evening and I was starting to clean up. With my hands full I ask Boy #2 to help me,
"Just move that over so I can set this down."
He proceeded to move it and move it back. Then move it and move it back again, several times until I said,
 His eyes danced around evilly, grinning from ear to ear,
"I got you. Ha! Gotcha."
Boy #3 exclaims,
"Mom swore? Did mom swear? I won!"
"But....I....wait a minute.......he baited me."

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