Remember the deck step is broken

These words resonated in my head as I gathered the necessary items for my venture into the backyard. All day I had heard something banging in the wind and I mistook it as noise from the work going on down the street. But as night fell and the backyard was enveloped in darkness the thump continued. Peering out the back windows of the house I could see our shed door had been left open. Will someone with in the sound of my voice close the shed that I didn't open? No, they are all deaf to the sound of my voice and as the old saying goes, "if you want something done, do it yourself."
I put on a pair of over sized boots because they were there, I found a non-battery needed lantern that had a crank and I cranked it. The dog always escapes out the backdoor, down the steps and runs like the wind next door, it's where her boyfriend lives. It was important that I didn't let that happen so I backed my way out the door onto the steps and shoved her nose back inside. As I turned I held up my cranked lantern to make sure the beast wasn't lurking below.
You can see I had many distractions, you can see how a broken step can slip your mind. Until you step on it of course. So through the step I went, dropped the crank lantern, got my foot tangled in the wrought iron plant stand stored under the steps, fell forward trying to grab the stupid lantern and cried a little bit.
You get to a certain age that before moving after such a tumble you assess the damage you've inflicted upon yourself. When you are 90% sure nothing is broken you start to climb your way out and close the damn shed door. This happened Monday and I'm still moving slow. And doing quite a bit of bitching and moaning.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I can't remember the date or the year I just know it was summer. And it was Boy #2's turn to take the garbage out. So I asked him, you know, to take the garbage out. Two hours later I asked him again. And then what seemed like the sixty-seventh time I said,
"Take the garbage out now."
And I squinted my eyes and talked through my teeth, a trick I learned from my mother.
"But mom, it's dark out."
"Take a flashlight."
"But......"
"Don't go there with me, I've been asking you all day. No TV until it's out."
He took his time looking for a flashlight and I followed him where ever he went because the garbage was going out.
Once armed with his flashlight, he grabbed the bag of garbage and headed to the back yard, down the deck steps and toward the shed. I went on with whatever I was doing. One minute later I heard running footsteps on the deck, up the stairs, the doorknob jiggle a bit before Boy #2 burst into the kitchen. He was babbling incoherently, something about beady eyes and a growl. While he was trying to explain to me that there was a beast in our backyard a smell started to work it's way towards our house.
"Skunk? Are you serious? Everyone close the windows!"
The family jumped into action, slamming windows shut, running up and down hallways and stairs. Because we had no emergency plan should a skunk show up in our backyard. We ran around like chickens with our head cut off. Once we were all sure that every window and door was closed we assembled in the kitchen. Breathing heavily, we remained silent and our eyes darted around the room.
"I still smell it."
"Yes it's very strong, not like when your driving and you smell skunk. This close up skunk smell is much more powerful."
I looked at Boy #2 and said,
"You probably scared it away, it's probably more scared of you than you were of it. And you looked pretty scared, you should have saw your face."
We all had a good laugh as our eyes watered from the stench.
"By the way," I asked, "Where's the garbage?"
"I dropped it and ran, flashlight too."
I rubbed my stinging eyes and then my forehead,
"So you provided it with dinner and light to dine by?"
We all made our way to the windows in the back of the house, trying to get a glimpse of our smelly backyard monster. We could hear some cans clanging together and some shadows moving in the glow of the flashlight. But it remained unseen, leaving us with only our imaginations to wonder what was going on back there. I was sure I'd never get Boy # 3 out of the house ever again.
"Guess who's cleaning up garbage tomorrow and bringing the garbage cans into the garage?"
"Me." Boy #2 admitted.
"And why might that be sweetheart?"
"Because I didn't listen to you."
"Uh huh."
Another lesson learned the hard way.