I Fell on My Butt

It was the dogs fault. I had her by the collar to take her out and I slipped on the steps, they were icy. I yelled out for help and my cries went unanswered. The husband was within ear shot but he is deaf to the sound of my voice, has been for years. I clicked the dog to her lead and stormed into the house swearing like a drunkin sailor.
An hour later when the husband felt safe to approach me, he looked at me and I looked at him. Then we both started to laugh,
"I could be dead out there and you wouldn't even know."
"Nah, I would have got hungry eventually and wondered where you were."