Here's how it happened.....the phenomenon

It all started in the garage. The husband and Boy #3 were cleaning in there. Yes I know, cleaning the garage, it's one of those jobs that is more like a punishment. But they were just cleaning it for the hell of it. That's what they tell me anyway. I know it's because they can't find stuff when they are reconstructing my house.
So you can imagine my surprise when I saw a bag of rock salt next to the front door. And when I took a look see in the garage I saw the sn, sn....I can't say it, shovels neatly stacked in the front corner. Three of them, one for each kid, that's how it works, don't let anyone tell you different.
In addition to this all of my sweaters are out of the cedar chest, washed, dried and hanging in my closet. We are prepared. This is very scary for our house full of procrastinators.
Usually the first time the steps are iced over this conversation ensues:
"Did we have any rock salt left over from last year?"
"Can't remember."
"Have you seen any half filled bags of rock salt down there?"
"Don't think so."
"Well the next time one of us is out we need to pick up a bag."
"K."
"Are you listening to me?"
"Huh?"
The first time the driveway needs to be shoveled this is the conversation I have with the shovelers, which has dwindled down to one this year:
"Are the shovels in the shed?"
"Can't we just buy a sn.....?"
"Shovels. Where are they?"
"I don't know."
"You have to find them and start shoveling. I'd help but I have a bad back. And when your father and I made a list of the Pros and Cons of having children, shoveling was like third on the list of Pros. Don't make me regret our decision, get out there."
And when it gets cold, I put off dragging my sweaters out of the cedar chest. So I wear my gray hoodie every single day of the week, people start to talk. The phenomenon is that we are, as far as we are concerned, prepared for the winter season. The only explanation for this is that we will have a very light winter. Your welcome Northeast Ohioans.
There is another plausible scenario and that is that while watching the squirrels scoop up and hide a bumper crop of acorns, more than I can ever remember falling in our yard, they, the squirrels, have sent us telepathic winter warnings while running back and forth across our roof.
Time will tell.

Flat Tire Phenomenon

Weird things happen to me and my car. So much so that I see a spark of fear in the husband eyes when I leave the house with car keys jingling. On a day like any other day, on my way home from work I encountered what is now known in my household as the flat tire phenomenon.
I innocently drove over a cable stretched across the road that is used to monitor traffic. It broke loose, in my rear view mirror I could see the cable whirling around like an out of control fire hose. 30 seconds from home, I made the split second decision to continue. Safely in my driveway I exited the car to the sound of hissing, my tire went completely flat before my eyes. That is when I started to talk to myself. "No one is going to believe this."
"Should I call the police?"
"City Hall?"
I settled on calling the husband.
"Huh?" He asked.
When he got home he took the flat tire off and found part of the cable wrapped around the wheel. "Ahh haa! Evidence!"
I started making phone calls. The police station, city hall, the county sheriff's office. No one knew who was responsible for the outstretched cable across our little community's road. I even called the local newspaper, who took me as a woman just trying to find someone to pay for her flat tire. "Hey pal, just put some more ads in your paper and forget any news worthy stories. I'll get to the bottom of this myself."
Now it was in the middle of winter. The idea of setting up a lawn chair next to the broken cable crossed my mind, briefly. I wasn't sure if it was worth the $12.95 tire patch. You can say I owe it to society to find the culprits and bring justice to our fine community. But for all I knew I'd be delving into an unknown, secret inter-galactic, organization that is monitoring Earths traffic patterns. And I don't know if I up for that.