The Inter-Dimensional Rift Opening

It all started at the grocery store as far as I can tell. Every time I touched the shopping cart handle I received a small electric jolt, not unlike the kind of jolt you get when you scuffle along the carpet in your socks then touch your teenagers ear to get them to listen to you. But there was no carpet and I had shoes on, I kept getting shocked, so immediately I thought of The Mist, who wouldn't. I looked outside and there was only sunshine, I couldn't see any things out there....things. I haven't seen The Mist yet, it's sitting on my DVD player, but the boys said the ending is terrible and they were mad enough to throw the DVD after they watched it. I read the book so I can reference The Mist to my hearts content.

The next obvious thing to do was take a survey of the people in the grocery store, you know the ones I'll be trapped in there with, I decided to take my chances with the things. I filled my electrically charged shopping cart with some extra snacks in case I would have to wait out the inter-dimensional rift opening in my SUV. Thankfully I made it home without incident.

Now here's the thing, all week either I've been driving to and from work too fast or everyone on the road is driving to slow. It isn't like me to drive too fast and the odds of everyone on the road driving too slow are slim. The only logical explanation has to be that I was part of some secret government experiment or cover up. Or I watch too much TV.
I'm alright with the government experiment/cover up thing as long as I can eventually develop my powers for good and be able to shoot fire balls out of my hands........ oh and fly.

Hangin' With The Weird

When I go days without a blogging idea I re-evaluated my life and then go to WalMart. Sometimes I clutter my mind with raising teenagers, paying bills and laundry, important stuff I suppose, but they get in the way of my humor brain cells. So I cleared my mind and took the checkbook to WalMart, we had a great time. Every single visit I'm greeted with someone walking out the entrance and walking in the exit and that always puts a smile on my face. The doors are clearly marked but WalMart shoppers have no time for readin' and stuff. There's a freakin' clearance sale going on right down the middle of the store for God's sake. I got a bath towel for $3.00.
On my way out I successfully avoided the Girl Scouts selling their cookies and navigated my way to the SUV, it was surrounded by shopping carts. I guess the few extra feet to the shopping cart holding bin was just to much for some. So I had a extra errand, round up the shopping carts. Those WalMart shopping cart rustlers make shopping cart rustling look easy. Steering three carts at once is an acquired skill, one that I'm lacking. But I managed to swing them over to the appropriate employee, feeling pretty proud of myself too. He never looked up or acknowledged my presence. Huh. Maybe I was doing a better job shopping cart rustling than I thought and he felt threatened. Or maybe he's just weird.