This brake thing isn't over yet.

The wheels are turning quickly in my head almost so that I can't keep up with myself. But who to blame?
Out this afternoon shopping for hell month - May. Birthdays, Mother's Day, Anniversaries, the family has put a ban on any marriages or new babies in the month of May, they just won't be recognized. There's too much going on in May and frankly I don't want my gifts jeopardized because somebody can't afford to get me a present.
My last stop today I parked on a slight inclination. I thought to myself thinking of my 5 speed,
"Should I put my emergency brake on? It's been acting weird and no one has told me if it's okay to use. It's barely a hill, should be fine."
I didn't take a long time in the store but I didn't hurry either. When I got to my car I said to myself,
"Nice parking job Sue, the ass of your car is sticking out at least a foot more than the other cars."
I put my packages in the back seat, slammed the door and felt a dizzy sort of vertigo thing going on like the car's moving but it really couldn't be, could it? No. Don't be silly. I walked around the back of the car, it looked like it was sticking out more than it was before. I got to the drivers side door and I witnessed my car move backward.
"Oh snap! My car is moving backward. I'm not having a stroke."
I jumped in my car and pressed down on the brake and clutch. Took a deep breath and tried to decide who would take the blame for my mishap/mistake.

How are the brakes?

Not so long ago in the recent past I over heard Boy #3 and the husband talking about the brakes on my car and how they needed replaced. Huh. I was not aware of a problem and I spoke up about it.
"New brakes? Why?"
"Don't you hear that noise when you drive it mom?"
"Noise? What noise?"
"The grinding noise."
"I guess I have my radio turned up a little too loud because I don't know what you're talking about."
"Jesus." Said the husband.
"We haven't had that car long enough for it to need new brakes, have we?"
"It's a 2009."
"Really? We've had it that long? That's how many years?"
"Several."
Apparently after several years a car needs a brake job and while they were at it Boy #2 brought his truck over and did his brakes too.

 

They did my car first then sat it in the driveway to go on to Boy #2's truck. I needed to go on my weekly rendezvous with the WalMart people so I hopped in my car and left. They watched me pull out of the driveway with interest.

I was unwittingly taking my car and it's new brake job on a test drive. When I returned I was asked,

"How are the brakes?"

"Uhhh good I guess. You guys fixed them right?"

"We were pretty sure."

Don't make me get my flying monkeys

You smack your cars driver side mirror backing out of the garage one time and you're labeled for life? A Car Drivers Side Mirror breaker? Labeled by those that you carried in your womb for nine, give or take, months?
The dog and I went out for our usual morning walk. We both took notice at the remnants of a cars side mirror. The dog sniffed the mailbox and I inspected it, we deemed it fit. Somebody had hit our mailbox with their cars side mirror. Being somewhat of an expert on the plastic pieces and parts that make up those mirrors I deduced that we had all the outside parts and there is somebody driving around the neighborhood with only the guts of their passenger side mirror and 7 years of bad luck.
With my one time incident, I only popped off the big plastic piece on the back and broke a few pieces around the mirror. The mirror remains intact and so are my next 7 years, hopefully. I gathered the fragments of the late night assault on our mailbox and left them on the grass, thinking the out of control driver might want them back. I even thought that if it was a little warmer outside I might set up a lawn-chair to see if anyone drove by looking suspicious and without a mirror on the right side of their car. I wanted to say 'hey what the hell'...... in a non-confrontational way. But like I said it was a little chilly out.
The day then carried on as usual with me striving to meet with writing success and the dog napping. I then began to prepare dinner for my beloved family. First to come home from work was Boy #3. He walked in the door with a smirk on his face and asked,
"Hey mom, what'd you do to your car?"
I looked his way as he tried to suppress a smile, I pointed my finger at him and said,
"That isn't from my car. Some moron hit our mailbox. Why would you think it was my mirror?"
"Uhh... because I'm the one that put your mirror back together the last time you crashed into the garage."
As I was explaining my almost perfect driving record while slaving over the stove Boy #2 walked in the door, grinning and asked,
"What uhh.... what'd you do to your car mom?"
"It isn't from my car! Some idiot hit our mailbox!"
They both continued to grin. This was going to go on all evening, I know my boys.
"Go back your car out of the garage so we can see for sure."
"Wait! Maybe you better let one of us do it."
I continued to cook my gourmet meal for them and shook my wooden spoon in there faces. My eyebrows came together, my eyes narrowed into two menacing slits on my face and I started to ramble while swinging the wooden spoon,
"You two are alive because of me, carried you in my body for nine months. Labor, don't get me started on labor. 12 hours for each of you and no epidural. Tell me I'm a bad driver will ya? I taught you two how to drive."
They slowly started to plan there escape, well it's the same plan they always use, they separate. Every man for himself kind of plan. But before they were out of earshot I shouted out to them,
"Don't make me get my flying monkeys!"
I retold the story to my mother about finding the broken car part by my mailbox and she said,
"Oh I thought you were going to tell me you hit it."

It just popped open on it's own

"You have to take my truck to work tomorrow, I'm taking your car in to get the trunk fixed."

My trunk? Why that hasn't worked since summer, June I believe. I've adjusted my life in such a way that I don't need a trunk anymore. What will I do with a fully functional trunk?

It popped open while we were out of town, just popped open on it's own and it took the husband several tries to get it to stay closed. "Don't open that until I get it looked at." Yes that was June. I remember now. Are our lives that busy that we can't sit at a dealership wait for our car to be fixed? Apparently.

We went out of town again in September, suitcase in the back seat. While driving home the husband pulled over, "What?"

"The trunk just popped open."

"Get the hell outta here."

We got out of the car, "Hey, look there's your new shoes we've been looking for all this time." I was excited. "I never thought to look for them in the trunk, funny isn't it?"

"Hold the shoes, I'll close the trunk."

When he was satisfied the trunk was secure we continued on our way. "Don't open that until I get it looked at." Yes that was September.

Now my trunk is fixed because the husband sat at the dealership for an hour and a half. He took a vacation day.

I'll need to adjust my way of life for the better, I'm sure. I can put my groceries in the trunk now and I have a place to transport the dead bodies again. It's a win/win.

_________________________________________

I have enrolled in a creative writing class which starts tomorrow, I'm very excited about it. I'm telling all that read my blog so I push myself to achieve greatness. I won't settle for anything else. But on the off chance I have a bad day I will post this picture of a baby crying on FaceBook and you can offer words of encouragement if you would like. I also have no idea how much time it will take out of my day so I'm not sure when I will be able to post. Be patient, I'm sure the posts will get much better.

Crisis in the Driveway

You should probably read my last post before you read this one, it's kind of a continuation but not, sort of.

Now that I have the Russians where I want them here at the pool, I can write my original post I had planned for today. It's a good thing to continue to write anyway just to keep the Russians guessing.

So imagine if you will Boy #3's car in the driveway with a dead as a door knob battery. Boy #2 has been summoned to help, girlfriend #2 tags along and me in my bathing suit with my pool bag trying to decide if I should leave the 2 hot heads and the nicer than nice even tempered girlfriend in the driveway without a referee. If I stay I'll lose my spot at the pool for sure, but this girl is probably going to have a huge part in picking out my nursing home, since she's a nurse. I stayed. Jump starting this car is not as easy you think. First you have to get the hood open and that involves 2 to 3 people, a screwdriver and a flashlight. Isn't it funny how Boy #3 just started to make payments to us on this car and stuff keeps breaking? A screw driver flew through the air, some swearing took place. "I'm selling this car." He's made 2 payments. The girlfriend tried to introduce calm, logic into the scene and I worried about my spot at the pool.

Let me take another glance at the Russians. I really want to point at my eyes and then to them but I'm not that brave.

The hood opened, the jumper cables didn't reach from the truck so Boy #2 drove the John Deere over and Boy #3's bucket of bolts started right up. I'm going to have to make sure that car has a survival kit in it, screwdriver will be on top of the list. This is about when the husband decided to see what was going on in the driveway. You might ask why I didn't get him involve earlier, easy, he's the original hot head. Three hot heads in the driveway is too much.

You know he loves you when .........

1. You wreck a loaner car and he now lovingly refers to you as "Crash." Yeah we can laugh about it now.

2. You come home from your hair appointment and he says, "I like your hair" before he even sees it!

3. He gets home from work, takes one look in your eyes, realizes "you've had a day" asked what's for dinner, you say tuna fish sandwiches and he says, "Great, can I have three with chips?"

4. He notices three small red marks on his leg, all the same size, evenly spaced, he concludes that the aliens took tissue samples last night and suggests you to check your legs for the same marks.

5. He sends you one dozen red roses to work because he knows you won't tell anyone there that it's your birthday and he wants everyone to know you're another year older.

No, it isn't my birthday, that was in May, but the other 4 things all happened yesterday and I wanted to round off my list at five.

Can I have another car, I wrecked this one?

"Let me get this straight," says the husband. "You haven't been involved in a car accident in 18 years, and I love you for that, but today you decide to get in one when you're not even driving your own car?"
"Well, to be fair, one never really decides to get in an accident, sometimes your foot just misses the brake pedal. And I love you too."
"I can't get away from work, you're going to have to take that car to the dealership and tell them what happened, the truck isn't ready yet you know."
"I'll get another car, don't you think?"
"You might want to call someone to pick you up. And let me know how much this is going to cost us."

The good news is he still loves me after I wrecked a loaner car.
The bad news is the repairs are well over our deductible.

We wouldn't have had a loaner car if the repairs on our truck didn't take four working days and a weekend to get fixed. But the dealership is now government owned so what did we expect really. They gave me another car.

God bless the woman I rear-ended, nothing was wrong with her car and she didn't even want my name, number, insurance information and firstborn. Then again, maybe she felt guilty for talking on her cell phone and slamming on her brakes because she missed her turn.

I'm Just Wondering

I can meander my way around the internet pretty well, pretty well for a high school graduate that went right into marriage and kids, did the whole stay-at-home-mom thing and cooks big Sunday dinners. I can google with the best of them, find a car insurance quote with a couple clicks, find a map and directions to any birthday party in the area. I have 957 usernames and passwords. What I can’t understand is while I have no problem opening up a new web page, there is one, just one page I cannot open. My cpanel at my hosting service. How is this my problem? I’m not being a smartass, I’m just wondering.

I am a Loud-Talker

My mother asked me a couple of months ago why I talk so loud. I had no idea I did talk loud. I talk too loud? After some personal observation I can now blame my loud-talking on my teenagers. Because teenage boys think of two things and two things only the majority of their waking hours, girls and cars in no particular order. Trying to get my voice to penetrate the thick skull of a teenage boy, trying to weave my voice through their constant thoughts of used cars and the opposite sex has turned me into a loud-talker. Have I lead by example? My mind tends to wander when they talk about cars. Most of those conversations they save for their dad, thank goodness. The three of them, the husband, Boy #2 and Boy #3 have found a site called BuyYourCar. They have been studying since the holiday season ended. Yes, I had a rest from car talk during the holiday season. But now we are back at in full force. So BuyYourCar has a section on buying advice, which is a good idea. It has questions you should ask the seller of the used car. This is the section the husband only looks over because Boy #2 and Boy #3 are too busy visioning themselves behind the wheel of a Mustang. I’ve also noticed the husband is a loud-talker too!

Student Specialist in Car Insurance

I remember when our boys were babies, the husband and I were watching TV one summer evening when we heard a big bang in the front yard. He was closest to the door and I was closest to the phone, “Call the police!” We didn’t have 911 back then. Some teenage girl drove into the telephone pole in front of our house. I remember the look on her fathers face when he got to our house, after he found out she was all right. He looked at us and said, “Just wait until you have teenagers.” I suppose that is why they have sites that specialize in student car insurance. There is cost u less insurance to save frazzled parents some money!