Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Remember the time we got locked in the nursing home and you freaked out?

It was a few years ago but damn it was funny. Mother-in-law had hip replacement surgery and had to convalesce in a nursing home for 3 weeks. Boy #2 and I went to visit her the day she was put in. It was later in the evening because we had to go to a school thing first.
The two of us walked in, the door shut behind us and then we saw the sign informing us of the visiting hours.
"Huh, we're late. Maybe they'll let us in since it's her first day."
In the lobby we were alone in dim lighting, office doors closed, no receptionist and a hustle and bustle going on beyond the swinging hospital doors which were locked.
"Huh, there are nurses there but they don't see us, I guess we'll have to come back tomorrow."
Boy #2 went to the front door that wouldn't open. "It's locked? Mom, it's locked."
I had to try it too, yep locked. At that time the ominous hospital door handle started to jiggle, we slowly turned around like they do in a horror movie. The jiggling grew stronger and a feeble, boney hand slowly rose up to the window, it's fingers tapped, tapped, tapped. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, tap, tap, tap. Boy #2 tried the door again with a renewed sense of urgency.
"One of us has to go to that door and get a nurses attention. And I'm pretty sure it has to me since you watch way too much TV and you've written us off already."
He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands.
"Look, there's a video camera monitoring us, wave your hands in front of it and get someones attention, I'll deal with death on the other side of this door."
He did as he was told, jumping up and down waving at the camera, mouthing the word HELP!
I went to the hospital door and slowly peered down through the window to find a little old lady in a wheel chair mouthing the word HELP. I asked her to get a nurse but she had a different agenda - escape.
Finally a nurse spotted me, she looked annoyed. "Visiting hours are over."
"We'll leave happily if you would just open the front door, it's locked, we're locked in."
She rattled off a security code and left. Oh there's a security key pad. Boy #2 and I stood in front of it, "What was that number again?" Fear had taken a strong hold on Boy #2 and he recited the number without hesitation.
"You can remember an eight digit number but can't remember to put you socks in the hamper?"


ReformingGeek said...

That's funny but very eerie at the same time. Something similar happened to Hubby when his mom had to convalesce in one of those places. There were some really strange (ill) people in those places. It was sad.

Kids have selective hearing, don't they?

BTW, I LOVED Star Trek and I'm a bit scared to think I could pull off Spock. ;-)

Chris said...

And that is selective memory, ladies and gentlemen. My mom would always say to me, "How can you remember every trivial detail and insignificant bit of minutia from every Brady Bunch every aired, but you can't remember to . . .

Put the seat down.
Call when you're late.
Take out the trash on Mondays.
Keep your underwear off the chandelier (but in my defense that was only that one time)

Yep, selective memory.

Skye said...

Now that is funny! Can't say as I've ever experienced any such thing, but I can imagine it, and it would make a pretty good movie :D

As for Chris' comment, I've never understood why women harp on all males about putting the seat down. Why is it that males don't harp on females to put the seat up for them? It's just as easy for them to put the seat down as it is for a female to put it up, so why doesn't it work both ways? No, I don't make a very good feminist!

Suzanne said...

ReformingGeek - Yeah it was border-line horror moivieish.
And I'm jealous, Boy #2 and his girlfriend are going to see Land of the Lost tonight, I can't get the husband off the recliner.

Chris - You have The Brady Bunch and underwear on the chandelier in one comment - didn't think that could be done. Good job.

Skye - That toilet seat controversy will always remain a mystery.