Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Huge Favor

"Honey, where are you right now?"
"I'm at WalMart." And a woman and her kids walked out the entrance when I got here so the record of the whole entrance/exit door confusion isn't broken yet. Every time I'm there they use the wrong doors, they can't read.
I was calling mom to see what my dad wanted for Father's Day. She knows what he wants, he doesn't.
"I was wondering if you would do me a huge favor." A huge favor to my mom is like picking up some dinner rolls because she forgot them.
"Sure, what do you need?" Already starting towards the bakery.
"Would you go to the Home and Garden Center and ask someone there if they have Gazing Ball Stands...............please?"

"Why the hell did I call you?"
"I have the Gazing Ball but I need the Gazing Ball Stand."
"You want me to go and ask a WalMart employee if they have a Gazing Ball Stand? Seriously, what is a Gazing Ball Stand?"
"They'll know what it is."
"Nooooo. They won't. I'll call you back."

WalMart Employee #1 was clueless and thought I was asking for Gazing Ball Sand. "Ball sand?"
"Hey, Nora do we have ball sand?"
"No, no. Gazing Ball Stand. Stand not sand."
"What's a Ball Stand?"

I called my mom back. "I just would like to thank you for sending me over there for a Ball Stand. I can never go back to that Garden Center, they probably have me under surveillance now. Are you laughing at me?"
All I heard was a snort.


PhilipDyer said...

Guess your mom will just have to keep holding her own balls.

ReformingGeek said...

Believe it or not, I found a WallyWorld employee that actually helped me find something yesterday. I was amazed.

David said...

She can just take the base of a two piece bird bath. That will hold the gazing ball just fine.

Candice said...

I want to punch people in the throat when they exit through the enterance and vice versa.

It probably shouldn't make me crazy, but it does.

Stupid aholes.

Nooter said...

ha haha ha ha ha!
now go back there and ask if they have prince albert in a can

Unknown said... thats a story my son would love!


Skye said...

A good way to drive a Walmart Employee nuts is to actually ask them for left-handed tools. Then, when they can't find said tools on the shelves, ask them to call other stores for you to see if they have them. This prank works best if you get in touch with the other stores first and tell them you're going to be doing this. If they have a sense of humor, they'll play along with it and the poor Walmart employee will be the brunt of many businesses jokes.

Bee said...

Ball sand bwahahahahaha!! Next time ask them for ball cheese!

Suzanne said...

Don't talk about my mama's ball Phil!

ReformingGeek - That is truly amazing!

David - I'll pass that info along to mom!

Candice - And the fact that they are teaching their young to be stupid aholes. Someone should put a stop to it but it's so damn funny.

Nooter - One embarrassing episode a week is enough for me.

Crazy suburban mom - My kids thought it was funny too.

Skye - That's evil and just crazy enough to work.

Bee - No! I won't do it!